Too short and too fragile

Wow so it’s December. I mean WOW. Had a lot going on in life and I was crazy as busy + stressed so blogging wasn’t one of my priorities. Still isn’t actually but well, it’s been rotting since September and I have the time + mood today so why not. Just a quick run-through on what’s been going on though so it might bore you.

Just for fun to show my love for pink though I have gone out like that before and I think it was fine.

Batman shirt from HMV during its closing down sale 🙁 – $22
(been eyeing it for ages and so sad about HMV cos I always buy DVDs there)

Demin shorts I’ve always loved – $5
Flats from H&M – $17.90

Bag from online blogshop – $30
(Probably the most expensive bag I own but how could I resist the colour)

My mum’s iPad that bro & I got for her birthday – $600+
(So nice to use and I’m tempted to get a mini myself but idk seems like a waste)

Kindle Paperwhite from my brother as a birthday present – ???
(Even came all ready with the screen protector and pink cover lol ily)

500GB Sony hard disk where I store all my movies – $100?
(love the metallic pink so much and wish I had bought 2 cos I can’t find anything similar)

Samsung Galaxy S3 which I’ve had since Sep but haven had time to mention – $200+
(Wanted the pink one but it was OOS so I made do with a white and found the perfect cover)

The gigantic box loaded with loads of junk with my Kindle buried underneath. Apparently it was to throw me off the scent. It worked — I was pretty sure he was gonna give me a Kindle because he had been sounding me out but this confused me.

Tada! Another prized possession I love so much.

It’s only about a month old but I’ve got like around 500 books inside and I never wanna go anywhere without it. Paperbacks will always be different (and expensive) but this had made my life so much more convenient. Plus I download the books I want manually through extensive usage of Google so it’s all free 😛 though some are impossible to find sigh but it’s okay.

I miss all my trashy books about high school drama so much and this Kindle has practically saved my life. Somedays all I want to do is lie on my bed and read, which is what I mostly do in whatever little free time I have. My movie list is kinda dead if you noticed, because I feel bored and unimpressed by everything.

Packed my paperbacks the other day and there’s so many that I have to place them in different places, so I had to sort by authors. Not even all that I own though hehehe just the ones I like better. So much pink as usual, most of which were Meg Cabot’s books which went on for three stacks. Made me feel quite bummed about inconsistent covers or missing books in a series though 🙁

Wish I had excess money to splurge on getting complete collections… did I mention I had the same books with different covers because I couldn’t remember if I owned a particular book? So I set up my Goodreads account properly to keep track of what books I own, what I’ve read and my ratings too 😀

My favourite series ever and funnily enough it is of the supernatural genre which I hate again (i.e. Vampire Diaries). Can’t wait to re-read it and swoon over Jesse. Still remember that I got started on the series because my sec school librarian bought me the second book as some prize. I asked for Meg Cabot’s Jinx which was out of the budget (got it myself eventually) but wow imagine if I never read The Mediator…

Speaking of books, the new covers for The Hunger Games trilogy are stunning and I want them T_T The previous black covers were gorgeous as well. Unfortunately I already have my box set (refer to above pic) but it’s the original, first edition cover so no complaints.

Have seen Catching Fire twice and I really like it. So much better than Hunger Games (which was juvenile) because it didn’t just focus on the big picture but captured the political unrest and psychological fear so well. Anw my first viewing was the Double Feature, back to back screening of both movies so it was quite the experience.

Jena Malone and Sam Claifin weren’t my ideal Johanna and Finnick, but they are perfect. Cried during the speech at District 11 both times and more. Don’t know how my heart is gonna survive Mockingjay TWICE. So mad that the ‘I love you” “I know” meadow scene wasn’t in the movie though and irritated me that they were already starting to destroy Gale.

Finally got my black singing bone kitty! Even got the owl which isn’t sold in Singapore. I have my ways and it does not involve buying from whatever Taobao site ^^ Don’t really care about the rest, these are the only ones I find cute and Blackie was the only one I really wanted all along.

Can I just say that I love everything I own? From books to clothes / shoes / bags / everything! So proud of my possessions, just wish I had more space hehe. Honestly my shopaholism has no limits…

Missing JB and not going there as much anymore because of my work and David’s diving. Sigh my cheap movies / beer / lok lok / coffee and basically the full package. Can’t believe it’s only two more months till he leaves for Australia. Can’t imagine life without one of the best friends I ever had and by ‘best’ I mean it not as a title but as a verb.

Horrible blistered feet from new shoes. Now to talk about work.

October and maybe half of November were rough months. Wanted to perform, to do well but it was just hiccup after hiccup. Kept screwing up and getting screwed until it felt like my career was like A Series Of Unfortunate Events. Felt guilty, so incompetent and wondered if I was really cut out for this. Wish some things never happened and I could undo them, even if they have blown over now. Wanted to just throw in the towel and give up at times.

Don’t think anyone really understood how I felt except for maybe for a few though I think everyone could tell how stressed I was. Started handling other sections as well and there seemed like there was so much to do all the time. Everything came all at once and I was so overwhelmed. Maybe because I wasn’t used to it. But at one point, some days by the time I was done settling work stuff, it was 4am and I barely had anytime left to sleep.

Not that I spent all night on work. Just that in the past it used to be 1) work /school 2) social and family life 3) personal time 4) sleep and I could pick 3. As usual I sacrificed sleep but my stamina was much better plus work wasn’t that intense yet. At that point I felt like I could only pick 2 so the ones I gave up were 3 and 4. Refer to my movie list and you can see the period where I only watched movies in theatres because that went to social life. Didn’t watch movies on my laptop alone at all.

Also had to deal with other screwed up shit. So yes, rough patch in life and I even wondered if it was punishment for being too happy and lucky from January to August.

But finally, I felt like things were looking up again last week, I felt the positivity. And I would like to believe that the worst is over and no more shit happens. I laughed so much today that I thought I might have finally snapped. But I was really happy. Am really happy. Endless gratitude to the people at work for helping me through everything as always and for the people who never left my side. Inside jokes, verbal sparring, all my favourite memories.

Feeling more free and less stressed too. Spent last Thursday and Sunday mostly watching movies all day and reading all night because I wasn’t working. Felt like a luxury that I hadn’t enjoyed in ages because these days, there’s always people (friends, buyers, sellers) to meet or errands to run even when I’m not working. Hopefully this luxury turns back into a habit like it used to be.

Lunch was like the cherry and icing on top of my already wonderful day. We ate at the western place where I always order the same thing (most of the time), such that the guy who always takes my order can recite it before I even open my mouth.

So today as usual I went to collect my food when it was ready, and was surprised to see extra meat. It has happened before, like more pasta, bigger piece of chicken or an extra sausage, but not this. Then the same guy said something like, “送你两个drumlets。厨师讲你很美。” [Give you free drumlets. The chef said you’re very pretty.]

Not that I’m damn hard up for compliments or anything but I just think it was a nice gesture. And I appreciate nice gestures that don’t expect anything in return. Then I told my colleague, “Eating here made my day” hahahaha

So much love and adorable for this little fellow who I can never stop fangirling over. None of my Instagram photos of her ever need filters because who needs filters when you have natural beauty that is bubbling with cuteness?! I got mouse ears in Bangkok to match yours, beloved furball. I miss your sister all the time.

Felt like crying (okay fine, I teared up) while writing Paul Walker articles today… Even though I have only seen like 3 of his movies (She’s All That / Joy Ride / Fast 6) but I’ve always noticed him because of how good-looking he is. Shocked to hear the news of his death on Sunday. It was like Cory Monteith again except that I’m more emotional about this.

Exact quote from Catching Fire (scene where I cried) came to mind:

“She wasn’t just my ally – she was my friend. I see her in the flowers that grow in the meadow by my house. I hear her in the Mockingjay song. I see her in my sister Prim. She was too young, too gentle. And I couldn’t save her. I’m sorry.”

Too young, and way too soon. Made me think about how I could be dead tomorrow and not know it. Life is honestly too short and fragile. We are nothing but one of many. Need to learn how to cherish and live with no regrets.

Depressing stuff aside, looking forward to all the events coming up! Sarah’s wedding, ST party, more than ten over days without work, Christmas etc etc. No more drama but just happiness and positivity please. Nice spilling everything even if nobody reads this anymore. Just renewed my blog domain and server subscription for another year so this site will still be here, updates or not 🙂