twiinklex ❤

Bad decisions make good stories. And I always have a good story.

I forgot I have a blog

Kidding, kidding. It’s just not a priority right now and I barely give thought to it. No time, no mood, doesn’t feel right talking about anything here, the list goes on. Basically I’m wasting money by keeping this site running and yet not updating.

There is always so much on my mind. Is this what growing up supposed to be like? Decisions to make, things to do, people and times to keep up with etc. It feels like time passes so quickly that I can barely catch up. That and the uncertainty of the future is always looming.

I never had second thoughts about extending my contract, being a part-time staff and working there. I daresay I am really passionate about the job and it’s bordering on obsession (story for another day?). Yet today I can’t help but wonder if all the sacrifices I made over the past few months were worth it.

Of course I like having a purpose and being useful but I feel like I almost completely gave up my life of leisure. I stopped doing a lot of things such updating this blog and my Tumblrs (I can tell that I’m at the stage whereby I’m about to stop going on Yahoo Answers too simply because of time constraints), I am reading and watching movies/shows a lot lesser, etc.

And I compromise on sleep everyday but I just can’t help going to bed only after 3am. It’s not healthy but it’s just… me. Guess we can’t have our cake and eat it too. I can fit everything into one day — work, going out with friends, guinea pig duty, personal time, sometimes I run — but sleep will always be the one I sacrifice.

Another thing that actually affects me is the distance that working life has put in between me and people. Trust me, I anticipated it and for awhile I was determined to not let it bother me. But talk is easy and as usual, it bugs me like how every other thing does.

Oh and of course my paranoia just has to make an appearance :’) honestly sometimes I feel like just giving up where some people are concerned. Never feeling appreciated enough, sometimes even feeling unwanted and unimportant… but maybe it’s just me as usual.

I don’t know what’s what for me actually… but no rush to figure that out yet. Just gonna calm down and take it slow. Btw first time using the Twitter’s new ’embed tweet’ function and it looks so nice!

Hopefully I’ll have the time and mood to fill what’s left of my readers in over the next few days 🙂

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