twiinklex ❤

Bad decisions make good stories. And I always have a good story.

Some people just get it

Aka a series of funny convos with Farah. Maybe it’s because we are both women or we have known each other for 8 years. Lol but I love her expressions because she always gets it!!! If only you all could see her face every time I recount something.

Can’t remember everything word-for-word but you either get the gist of it or you don’t.

Me: I used hair oil and came to office, wanting to let it sit before I wash it out after gym. Then (male acquaintance) came by my desk and we were talking and I said I came to office for gym and he asked, ‘Oh you went already?’

Her: *bursts out laughing*

Explanation for those who don’t get it: Hair looking greasy AF cos I was not planning on any human interaction and not looking my best in front of a reasonably good-looking cis straight male is just 🫠🫠🫠

Me: I went on this hike and the group had so many boomers. Damn irritating how they like to talk down to you and mansplain just cos I’m a young woman.

Farah: It’s like we have a sign on our foreheads saying, ‘Please mansplain to me.’

Explanation for those who don’t get it: There is a difference between sharing knowledge or answering a question versus offering unsolicited ‘advice’ that we didn’t ask for in a condescending manner. I really don’t understand why some men have to be so irritating? I didn’t ask.

Me: One (retired old man) asked if I was a secretary. Nothing wrong with being a secretary but it’s the way he said it, you know?

Farah: It’s the assumption.

Me: Exactly! And the stereotyping.

Me: After I said I was a journalist, he asked, ‘So your seniors ask you write story then you go write?’

Explanation for those who don’t get it: Lmaoooo I’m the one assigning work and asking people to do stories so maybe keep your assumptions and stereotyping to yourself.

Me: He also told me to ‘travel more then you can write more’.

Farah: *exchanging a look*

Explanation for those who don’t get it: Not sure how you wanna define ‘more’ but I’ve been on 5 trips in 7 months and counting…

Me: Then he said he was going to Antarctica with a tour group and that it’s ‘VERY EXPENSIVE’  🙄

Farah: I’m sure you can go too if you want.

Me: Some more he’s retired and got his pension and whatever, wanna compare what?!

Me: They (men) also like to tell me that this hike is very hard, need how many hours… Or they will tell you this is nothing because they marched in army with their backpack…. blah blah.

Farah: 😑😑😑 Tell them you have been to Everest Base Camp.

Explanation for those who don’t get it: LOL ya that’s EXACTLY what I’m thinking whenever they wanna show off or whatever shit. And it actually happens quite often with different groups. Sometimes I will mention EBC if the topic comes up but other times I can’t be bothered to engage at all.

Part 2 to come because there is so much more but it’s 1.30am and bedtime!

Lol btw if you are wondering if there’s a follow-up to my previous post, there isn’t. I acted blur and didn’t follow back because I am capable of self-restraint despite temptation, plus nobody DM-ed anyone 🙂

It’s kind of a funny story

Random storytime that I am just expelling from my system and do not mean anything by.

I am truly working on growing and healing and being better (mostly for my own sake so not as noble as it sounds). But sometimes life has other ideas and the universe works in funny ways (the ironic kind, not the ha-ha kind). Often I feel like I am being tested and failing.

But I really am trying, even though it’s a struggle sometimes and temptation is always there. Of course I miss it and so many times I’ve wanted to respond, you have no idea. There’s so much I want to say but what’s the point, when I’m not being heard? It’s nothing I haven’t said before anyway and it’s not like anything will ever change, as history has shown. Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

So as hard as it as, I’ve tried my best to let it go. Just let it go, cut things off, clean break, no contact. But when someone knows the darkest, most self-destructive parts of you, the lows and the ugly, the parts you keep hidden and buried from everyone else, when there’s so much history, how do you just erase it all?

Nevertheless, I’ve stuck to it and a work in progress is still progress. Some days I’m proud of myself for being brave, not wavering and doing what I know is the right thing.

All fine and dandy, amirite?

But as I said, sometimes life works in funny ways, There I am being resolute and life decides to dish out another test or temptation or whatever you wanna call it.

My brain: Ok this guy is so nice and kind? Lending me his hiking pole even though he only has one and being very helpful on the hike. And the conversation is good!

My brain after looking at his fingers some time later: Ok unavailable and off-limits, of course. And there’s the catch. Lollll of cos. Of cos!

At this point I was just very self-amused because why do I always gravitate towards the same demographic??!?!?!

He: So are you single or seeing someone?
(can’t remember exact words but ya)

My brain: LOL why is he asking? I don’t think it’s entirely appropriate for him to be asking me this. Am I over-thinking this? (I mean, it could be just curiosity or a convo-starter but… is it?)

Anyway the conversation was really good the whole time and there were thoughtful gestures like switching spots with me so that I was in the shade while he was in the sun. I’m not insinuating anything, it was just nice vibes and good company on such a long hike.

After the hike, I did some cyber-stalking out of curiosity and that was it. I felt that it would not be hard to continue the connection and I’ll admit it was kinda tempting to? But as I said, I am determined to do and be better.

So I put the whole thing out of my mind and almost a month goes by…

But then few days ago I woke up, checked Instagram and guess who followed me?!

Ah life, you funny ironic thing.