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June 04, 2018 / 10:35PM

I’m feeling so shitty inside and outside and I haven’t felt this stressed out or sad in ages. Yet there’s nothing I can do but wait and pray and hope an already dire situation doesn’t get worse. I can’t eat and I can’t sleep. I feel physically ill because my cough is being stubborn and I’m running a slight temperature and I’m not sure if it’s all the stress or if it’s actually something more or related to whatever I’m so afraid is going on. It’s making my anxiety worse and I can’t even talk to anyone because I am so confused and I am not even sure what is going on or what is happening. Like did I do something to deserve this??? Is this my karma??? Why???? I go from freaking out to being exhausted and just wanting it to all end and I hate myself but I don’t even know what I did. Please just be over even though nothing will be the same and I already know I am gonna hate how it ends but there is nothing I can do and guess what if I were you I would hate me too.