twiinklex ❤

Bad decisions make good stories. And I always have a good story.

Self-defeating shit I do

June 03, 2018 / 12:49AM

  • Starve myself cos scared calories
  • Binge-drink alcohol which has lots of useless calories
  • Know that alcohol is a depressant
  • Drink to make myself feel better > numb > worse anyway
  • Say I am so done with work
  • Proceed to give 120%
  • Say I’m sleepy and tired
  • Sleep at 3am every day
  • Dying from coughing fits
  • Go running at the gym instead of the doctor
  • Have generous choice of men
  • Consistently & consciously pick the worst option to care most about
  • Tell myself no expectations so no disappointment
  • End up disappointed anyway
  • Claim not to care
  • End up caring too much
  • Say nobody cares about me
  • Pushes away everyone who does

I feel stupid and messed up and crazy and I really, really wish I wasn’t like this and I kinda wanna cry and drink but I have done neither which is a good thing.

Leave a Reply