twiinklex ❤

Bad decisions make good stories. And I always have a good story.

My lecturer is a teenage girl (2)

Today marks the 5th week in a row my Marketing lecturer has winded me up about Vampire Diaries. I don’t know if it’s an desperate attempt to get me to listen in class but it is actually funny, maybe a little unnerving at the same time. Part 1 (weeks 1 & 2) here.

3rd week [Usual scenario of him babbling on while I am buried in a fic on my phone]

JH: For example, Vampire Diaries…
Me: *tears self away from fic immediately to look up*
JH: (something something) silly (something something)
Me: What silly?!?!?!? *uncontrollable shriek*

By now majority of the class was looking at me. Didn’t really catch his reply but he started getting reeling backwards (metaphorically, as in his words) and few sentences chipped in here and there about the show… I don’t know, my mind was tuning out again already. But admittedly I love how everyone knows about how hardcore I am when it comes to TVD 😀

4th week [Having group discussion instead of regular tutorial]

Me: *Googling for info on my phone*
JH: Don’t you think such touchscreen smartphones are hard to use? (blabber blabber) Like you have to use two hands to type (or something). For example, if you wanna search Vampire Diaries…

5th week aka today [Doing the mock test while he walks around to check]

JH: *at my table* How come all your answers one line only?
Me: [silence – I have mastered this blank look that I use just for him]
JH: Study more la, don’t keep watching Vampire Diaries.
JH: Sure or not? (followed by something about the hiatus?)
Me: Season break.
JH: Huh still got season break ah?
Me: Midseason break.
JH: Then what about the…. PLL…. Pretty Little Liars?
JH: Really? (something something~ I have tuned out)

I love Stefan’s “happy face” hahahaha.

Anw, the remaining time not disturbing me about TVD is spent picking on me, my friends and mainly my table -_- Every freaking tutorial and lecture he makes sure to say stuff like, “Those of you who have already switched off/not paying attention/etc” and looks right in my table’s direction. And every tutorial he comes over to my table and starts being snarky, e.g. “Are you all even writing it down?” and then he will see that I didn’t even bring my book and shake his head or something. Last week during lecture he was going on about people who kept talking and he looked right at me even though the whole time I was reading my book… Oh I don’t know, have I been subconsciously holding a conversation with my paperback?

And every week, it is my table that gets attacked the most. Even though I’m sure there are other people not paying attention, talking, using their phones, doing other things on their laptops. I’m so immune to this that I can’t even get angry or pissed off anymore. Perhaps just resigned. I have this blank look which I’ve perfected just for Marketing class. Whenever he comes over my table to be an ass, I just stare blankly at him and go back to my fic. Urgh too absorbed to even bother with him please.

Now, if it’s just me, or even just the girls, who think he’s picking on us, it’s fine. But other people from other tables also noticed and agreed that he’s being a major prick to only my group. Ohwell if it makes him happy. Since he thinks I’m lazy/stupid, I’m going to behave just that way. Not gonna flare up because I truthfully know zero shit about his module and nor do I pay attention in class.

Actually there was one tutorial whereby I did my homework and even answered questions in class correctly but nothing changed. My table got the usual “Are you all listening or not?” and all that shit. So yeah, why bother.

I feel like I have this reputation in class for being a super lazy ass and a slacker who doesn’t do her work, and I’ll never fully understand why. I do all my work on time, properly to the best of my ability, I might complain a lot, but I attend group meetings, take turns to both lead and let others lead, and I ask for help and offer help sincerely when the need arises. While I may not be the most easy-going person, I don’t think I’m very difficult, very pushy, too uptight, or not serious enough.

Just because I openly tweet/blog about doing relaxing, non-school related stuff doesn’t mean that I don’t do my work? I just don’t tweet about it all the time? Just because I don’t pay attention in class or do my tutorials doesn’t mean it’s the same for my ICAs and exams? Just because I don’t freak out about things doesn’t mean I am too chill and don’t bother or put in effort? It just means I am in control. When I freak that means I am close to breaking down which is when something is wrong okay? Just because I like to end class on time so that I can go for my breaks and not have group meetings interrupt my breaks aka bonding time with my girls, doesn’t mean I don’t care? It just means I am human. A typical teenage girl. Who gets hungry and likes to surround herself with enjoyable things.

Am I being paranoid again or do people really think I am a slacker? I wish you all knew how much this inexplicable image of mine bothers me sometimes, on bad days when my emotions are heightened. Normal days I just don’t give a fuck lol. Sigh nevermind. People are judgemental/stereotypical by nature and there’s nothing I can do to help it. Even my lecturer is like that -_- Well he has an excuse I guess since I never ever pay attention in his class.

 Argh whatever!!!!
Grades aren’t brilliant anw so I don’t think I have the right to mind.

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