Tag: life

May 08, 2018 / 12:13AM

Feeling so empty and dull right now… I don’t even have the words today. Took me ages just to start typing this which is rather terrible for someone who writes for a living.

I guess the thing about seeking cheap thrills and quick fixes is that they wear off just as swiftly. Looking outwards to fill the void also means you go back to square one when those factors e.g. alcohol and toxic people aren’t around.

Actually the most toxic person is me myself I.

By the way, I am very hungry now as well because all I had to eat today was a sandwich and half a hotdog bun and two cups of iced teh c kosong that my boss bought me. At my desk. Whatever happened to proper meals?

How come I’m so self-aware of my issues but so bad at fixing them?

And who’s still reading my rubbish thoughts?

May 04, 2018 / 3:19PM

I think my previous post is overly mopey (that’s what happens when I blog after midnight) so here’s a new one to push it down.

Sick in bed with a fever… I was already unwell yesterday and left work early. But not before eating McDonald’s. Lol I really love making life difficult for myself. I ran 4km at the gym on an empty stomach on Wednesday and I think that’s what made me fall ill.

I don’t know why I put myself through this self-torture. I’ve lost quite a bit of weight considering the short amount of time but I’m still not satisfied. I know for a fact that I will never be satisfied. I’ll probably always feel fat even though I know I’m not and even though I haven’t been this light (weight-wise) in years.

Anyway, I also finally ended things on Wednesday so I am officially no longer dating anyone. Now I can go back to drunkenly moaning about how nobody cares about me or loves me and knowing that I am not wrong.