Self-defeating shit I do
June 3, 2018
June 03, 2018 / 12:49AM
- Starve myself cos scared calories
- Binge-drink alcohol which has lots of useless calories
- Know that alcohol is a depressant
- Drink to make myself feel better > numb > worse anyway
- Say I am so done with work
- Proceed to give 120%
- Say I’m sleepy and tired
- Sleep at 3am every day
- Dying from coughing fits
- Go running at the gym instead of the doctor
- Have generous choice of men
- Consistently & consciously pick the worst option to care most about
- Tell myself no expectations so no disappointment
- End up disappointed anyway
- Claim not to care
- End up caring too much
- Say nobody cares about me
- Pushes away everyone who does
I feel stupid and messed up and crazy and I really, really wish I wasn’t like this and I kinda wanna cry and drink but I have done neither which is a good thing.
