Plenty of fish in the sea?
July 6, 2015
Everything sucks. Nothing is okay. I have tried almost everything but at the end of the day, they are just temporary distractions. Or maybe I’m just not trying hard enough.
The pain and hurt always come back because they are never truly gone. All I feel empty and pointless. What do you do when the only solution that can make all the bad go away is also the source of your unhappiness. Which you cut off because it made you as ecstatic as much as depressed, and the latter was starting to overshadow everything.
No more crazy highs for me (honestly it was really toxic and unhealthy, the way my mood was so dependent on one single thing) but I still feel a different kind of shitty.
How do you go back to boring, mundane, average life when you have had a taste of paradise? Why would I settle for ikan bilis when I could have sea bass? But nvm, it isn’t the best fish and the bones made me choke. Delicious but it could kill me one day, whether from overeating or poisoning. I’ll wait for my million-dollar bluefin tuna instead.
It’s just that sometimes all you are craving for is freaking sea bass.