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Posts Tagged ‘work’

Random memory

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May 28th, 2018 Posted 12:42 am

May 28, 2018 / 12:47AM

I just had this super random memory from nowhere and looking back, it’s both stupid and funny so here’s a record.

It was English class (obviously my favourite, along with Literature) when I was in Secondary 3 or 4. We just had a change of teachers so it was this new guy instead of the usual female who’s biased towards me and always giving me high marks.

So this new teacher handed back our essays and I got only a 20/30 which is actually very low to me. Clearly indignant, I went up to him afterwards to ask why or maybe because he wrote ‘see me’ on my paper. Then he said my essay was too lengthy for a regular compo and that I use too many irrelevant descriptions that don’t help the plot at all (I was into fiction at that time and not writing simple English for news like now).

Yes I see his point, but I really couldn’t accept a 20/30 when I normally score high marks. I don’t know how but I managed to convince him to re-grade me without considering the length. I think I said I obviously wouldn’t write such a long piece for exams when there’s limited time and he eventually gave me 25/30 so I was thrilled.

Anyway one of my classmates found out what happened and stupidly told the whole class. Can’t really recall what happened next but I think people started criticising me (naturally, people would be pissed la come to think of it cos 5 marks is a big difference) and I got very very upset. I know I cried, though I’m not sure privately or openly.

Kinda had a falling out with that big-mouthed classmate who was actually quite a good guy friend prior to the drama hahaha but we are civil now.

I was already having quite a hard time because we were sorted accordingly to our proficiency in the subject so I was in the same class as people who were just as good at English, if not better. I remember writing in my journal (a proper book, not a blog!) how stressed and pressured I felt by the competition.

(click to enlarge)

It’s like I have always been the best in the cohort for English, which everyone knows, but suddenly I felt so threatened and like I had so much to live up to, especially when I thought about how embarrassing it would be if I lost my spot to someone else, and it was really messing with my mind and I felt like crumbling.

In fact I got so stressed out that I really lost my position in Sec 4 even before O-Levels 😢

Anyway I think I randomly got reminded of this because I saw the big-mouthed classmate on my Twitter feed and that’s the most vivid memory associated with him.

Of course this doesn’t bother me anymore but it’s interesting how things that at one point seemed very important turn out to be meaningless after some time. Which is why now I like to ask myself if something will matter in a year’s time before reacting to it. Sometimes I think I might be too chill… but showing emotion also means risking being vulnerable.

And netizens should stop questioning my language la because while I know I’m not perfect, I won’t write something I am not sure about 😂

Actually I wrote something last weekend that I had considered posting and it has been sitting in my drafts ever since. It’s nearly 2,000 words and I even had a title ready (lol maybe I’m being dramatic).

But while I want to say it out, it is vvvv personal and will be quite possibly the most fucked up thing I have ever posted and I feel like no good will come out of sharing it and I don’t want to deal with any reaction at all, be it good or bad.

Maybe next time. After all, I’ve already waited so long.

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Posted in Others

Treat yoself

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May 27th, 2018 Posted 6:57 pm

May 27, 2018 / 6:57PM

I’m actually in relatively good spirits this week even though I’m (still) coughing my lungs out and my feet are dotted with swollen mosquito bites. Maybe because I am too tired and lazy to summon the willpower/discipline to starve myself. If anything, I ate a lot of sinful food all week and it is just so comforting that I don’t want to think about calories.

Plus I suppose I can afford to cut myself some slack after all the hard work. I think I lost like 10 pounds??? Quite proud of myself even if my methods weren’t the healthiest. But at least I got here… I was looking at my photos from Feb and thinking how fat I was even though that’s only like 3 months ago.


And I also feel like everyone has been extra nice to me this week maybe because they can tell I’m not feeling my best.

I was feeling damn sian on Wednesday because my intern has been giving me a lot of problems. Then Karl and Mark asked me to go Jollibee with them for lunch but it was only noon (I usually can’t get away till 2pm) and I still had quite a few important articles to do.

At first I was like ok nvm… 😞 Then I realised eh fuck it la why can’t I fuck care this once and it’s not like I get this chance every day and it’s the perfect day for this since CK is not around and Farah is fasting. So I really left everything and disappeared for 2 hours. Mark drove and Karl paid and I felt sooo good eating pasta and fried chicken and fries.

I know it’s just lunch but I was unusually grateful for the respite from work and my miserable diet and self-torture. Mark said he has been eating health food for 7 months so he “really needed this” which I totally get.

Also had a lot of wine that night (2 bottles for 2 people but I think I drank more) then I both liquid vomited and word vomited omg what’s wrong with me.

On Thursday evening, someone actually cooked me a meal and brought it all the way to my office 😳 Even the gift was very thoughtful and I was touched by the effort. Then someone else gave me VIP tickets to the FAFF premiere on Friday which was enjoyable.

Thank you everyone ok I really appreciate all these nice gestures and when people say nice things instead of unwarranted shit. And it’s always nice knowing that there are people who care about me.

I also had a lot of fun this weekend unboxing and sorting several parcels that arrived from overseas! One of them was actually 7kg and contained the leatherbound classics that I ordered online 😂😂😂

Barnes & Noble Leatherbound Classics

SO PRETTY RIGHT WTF and they all have gilt-edged pages of gold and silver. Honestly they are not very cheap and more than what I would usually pay for a book but considering they are all special editions and collections of multiple stories, it’s quite worth it.

Just looking at them on my shelf makes me so happy 😊 My mother came into my room, shook her head and said I need to see a shrink for book obsession.

Barnes & Noble Leatherbound Classics Book Depository

Oh and look, I am capable of upbeat posts ok.

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Posted in Photographs