September 24, 2018 / 12:30AM

Can’t believe how time flies??? I didn’t realise the last time I updated was over a month ago but I’ve been so lazy and tired and busy. I think the hours I worked this weekend amounted to one regular weekday and it’s like 7 working days in a row 😞

Anyway I fell off my bed at the start of September and I still remember the feeling till now. It’s a storage bed that’s higher than average so the fall hurt quite a bit. I fell on my left side but look at the bruises I found when I was fully conscious in the morning:

The reason why I’m writing about this seemingly mundane incident is mostly for myself because I wanna remember it. But honestly I felt quite fascinated by how I felt during the fall even though I was half asleep.

I remember dreaming about something (though I can’t recall what it was) and then I turned towards the left, thinking there was a lot of bed space (clearly there wasn’t). Next thing I knew, I was falling and technically I know it was only seconds before I landed, but it felt much longer and a lot went through my mind during the descent.

I can’t remember exactly what I was thinking but I did tweet about it after landing (and yeah it happened at 6ish in the morning):

As the title suggests, it was a very fascinating free fall feeling… like you are in the air and you know you are falling but you simply enjoy this sick sensation and while you might have flailed your limbs, you don’t open your eyes until you land painfully.

I know I got up and went back to bed and had another random dream. I didn’t notice the bruises on my left pinky finger and the left side of both my knees until much later. Wish I’d recorded down the two dreams too but oh well.

Anyway you can say I’m psychoanalysing myself or over-thinking or just knowing myself but this weirdass sensation I’m so fascinated with is like the same kind of feeling I get from some of my most toxic/no-no relationships wtf. Some of you might know that I am very attracted to one particular sort of relationship… I call it an affliction because I know I should stay away and run for the hills but at the same time I can’t help being drawn.

It’s like you know it will crash and burn and end in flames but you go ahead anyway because the thrill of the journey is unparalleled to anything else you’ve ever experienced. Yes you’re only gonna land with a painful thud, there’s no other ending to this, but the descent makes you feel so… wow. I don’t know even how to describe it. And then when you finally snap out of it, that’s when the pain comes and you lick your wounds.

Ugh I don’t wanna say too much here but we’ll see.