In your head

Pretty sure I caused most of my misery because as usual, my paranoid and insecure self turned nothing into a huge fuss. Even all my friends think it’s all in my head. When will I stop driving myself crazy by getting carried away with these stupid thoughts -_- To be fair, no one even did or said anything to me. I don’t even know why I was so upset over nothing wtf.

But it’s okay. I’m okay. I think I got all that shit out of my system these few days. Thankful for Naz and Kums for being so supportive even when I’m a psycho raging bitch. For lecturing me when I deserve it because I am weak-willed and spineless with no dignity 😛

And because they are the only ones who actually know what’s really going on… sick of people just assuming shit and criticising someone they don’t even personally know just because they want to take my side. I never needed that because it was never a fight to begin with.

Thankful for my three bros Amos, Yixuan and Linus for putting up with me on Saturday night / Sunday morning and taking care of me. When I was bawling my eyes out and yelling the place down till the neighbours wanted to call the cops (LOL) and goodness knows what else. I basically lost control and went berserk (I’m surprised I didn’t insist on jumping off the block)… Why? Because my thoughts got the better of me again and it was really over nothing.

I don’t feel like I have to pretend or feel self-conscious around these people. In fact, it is because I’m with them that I have no qualms about behaving this way (ok but no more, I promise). With friends like these, I know I’ll be all right 🙂

Actually feeling pretty good today. I can’t believe how stupid I am being lor. Nothing changed. Nobody changed. I just started to expect too much and when I didn’t get what I want, I started to think rubbish and think something was wrong. Definitely all in my head… though I might be singing a different tune again tomorrow, who knows?

By right, I should be feeling on top of the world because I have practically everything going for me. Especially in my career. Best job ever and forever one of the best things to happen to me because I gained so much knowledge, experience and friends. Just got a promotion and my bonus last week, and I’m flying to New Zealand next week for an assignment.

Why was I so miserable again????