I feel awfully disturbed
May 18, 2010
And not because of the warning letter.
I don’t feel worried about that at all, weirdly. Because I know it’s just an error.
Which is why I don’t understand why some people are so uptight about it.
Come on, relax. Just clarify tomorrow. We did nothing wrong!
I feel disturbed because of the entry about the warning letter instead. I don’t like it. I don’t like the overall look of it – wordy and plain and messy. Plus I missed a lot of details which I wanted to say, but nevermind that.
I don’t like poasts that “don’t look nice”.
Yes I am talking about my own blog and solely that.
Sometimes I hate my own work. The end result, the product of a poast.
Everything must look nice and neat etc but sometimes I am just not in the mood so I can’t be bothered.
Then I get very disturbed until I publish a new poast the next day which looks presentable enough, and is up to my expectations.
I don’t delete poasts though, because after all it is all my work and words, no matter how ugly-looking.
But people still seem to love or enjoy reading my blog, as they tell me.
Which baffles me sometimes because I really don’t like some of my work!!
But well, since my readers have no complaints, then I guess I have none too.
You know, I used to wonder why so many authors say they hate their own work and stories. Especially when their books are popular and I am also a fan. Even Meg Cabot.
Now I think I can sort of relate and understand.
Also, I feel very shy when I look at my blog stats and see so many visitors coming here. Not bragging or anything, seriously. But like what I mentioned above, sometimes I think my work sucks. And sometimes, because of the tone I use.
Different people intepret things differently.
You and I, you and other readers, all get different perceptions and feel different things, even if we are reading or looking at the same thing.
You get what I mean?
So yeah, shy or whatever you wanna call it. Self-conscious?
Shy but happy, of course 😀
I think this poast sucks too. All 3 poasts I published today suck (have you read all 3 yet??). You might beg to differ. But whatever it is, I wanted to say out how I feel sometimes.
And lastly, you can see I always worry about the the wrong things.
Happens all the time.