twiinklex ❤

Bad decisions make good stories. And I always have a good story.

twiinklex ❤
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Happy-in-between

Haven’t been blogging because I’ve been really busy but I promise I am fine!!! Not saying it just because but I really am. Haven’t done anything stupid in two weeks 😂 Plus I’m enjoying life as it is; being productive despite work being never-ending, running, reading, hamsters and seeing my friends.

Had a super indulgent weekend and I feel very blissful with all that I have. I know I’ve said this before, but I’m thankful for all my friends. For all the nice food and company and concern and laughter.

Recently read this book called ‘When You’re Not Ok’ by Jill Stark that I got from the library. It’s a very quick read and I love some of the quotes so am sharing them here.

When You're Not Ok by Jill Stark

When You're Not Ok Jill Stark

This reminds me of the convo I had with Yu Kai on Friday:

Yu Kai: *complaining about hookup culture and how nobody’s serious about anything anymore* Now when I think about chasing a girl, I also can’t be bothered.

Me: Maybe cos being serious just sets you up for hurt and disappointment 🤔

Yu Kai: Maybe cos they are hurt so they hurt people.

🤔🤔🤔

When You're Not Ok Jill Stark

“The fastest track to insanity is trying to convince yourself everything is ok when really it’s not.”

I love this even though ‘fake it till you make it’ has been my lifelong mantra (totally valid and useful in some cases e.g. acting like I know my shit when hosting visitors at work or giving a presentation).

But it’s true. Sometimes the best thing to do is to just confront it and feel it before you can get over it. Though sometimes it’s tempting to just take the easy way out and don’t allow yourself to feel at all.

When You're Not Ok Jill Stark

“Trying to get your validation and self-worth from external sources is like pouring water into a leaky bucket. There will never be enough to feel you up.”

Preach it!!!

When You're Not Ok Jill Stark

does it matter quote

EXACTLY what I have been saying since a few posts ago… It was something that someone recently taught me and it’s the most liberating thing ever.

Ok it’s like 2.30am which means bedtime.


Don’t stop writing

Randomly decided to open and read my 2018 journal (an actual physical one) and was quite surprised at what I found. There weren’t a lot of entries, only from July to November that year, and I don’t think I have written anything offline ever since.

But I wish I had kept writing because it’s such a good refresher/record of events and memories. I was surprised to realise how much I’d written about some people in the journal, to be reminded about random upsetting happenings that I’ve forgotten about till now, and about how… honest I just was since I knew nobody would ever read it.

And there was this paragraph I wrote:

journaling

Still relevant and still hasn’t changed. I just feel like it’s so illuminating, being reminded of what I have always wanted my whole life (even though this was written only two years ago).

Actually, writing by hand is damn freaking tiring, which is partly why I stopped 😂 Like I always have so much to record down but it’s tedious!!! But somehow, it’s also where I am the most honest.

I have this blog where there are private posts visible to no one else except me, password-protected posts and public posts. And actually I also have a few other anonymous sites (lol don’t bother looking)… Oh and Word documents too. But for some reason, the handwritten journals always have the most honesty.

Someone once asked me why I like to write and ruminate so much, everything also write down. I guess firstly, it’s my way of processing things. Secondly, I am a writer more than a talker. Thirdly, I just like to record down memories in detail so that I can look back on them and remember. Fourthly, so that there are receipts and timestamps as proof, should I ever need them. Morbid but yeah.

Anyway, I should keep writing!!!