twiinklex ❤

Bad decisions make good stories. And I always have a good story.

twiinklex ❤
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Happy-in-between

Haven’t been blogging because I’ve been really busy but I promise I am fine!!! Not saying it just because but I really am. Haven’t done anything stupid in two weeks 😂 Plus I’m enjoying life as it is; being productive despite work being never-ending, running, reading, hamsters and seeing my friends.

Had a super indulgent weekend and I feel very blissful with all that I have. I know I’ve said this before, but I’m thankful for all my friends. For all the nice food and company and concern and laughter.

Recently read this book called ‘When You’re Not Ok’ by Jill Stark that I got from the library. It’s a very quick read and I love some of the quotes so am sharing them here.

When You're Not Ok by Jill Stark

When You're Not Ok Jill Stark

This reminds me of the convo I had with Yu Kai on Friday:

Yu Kai: *complaining about hookup culture and how nobody’s serious about anything anymore* Now when I think about chasing a girl, I also can’t be bothered.

Me: Maybe cos being serious just sets you up for hurt and disappointment 🤔

Yu Kai: Maybe cos they are hurt so they hurt people.

🤔🤔🤔

When You're Not Ok Jill Stark

“The fastest track to insanity is trying to convince yourself everything is ok when really it’s not.”

I love this even though ‘fake it till you make it’ has been my lifelong mantra (totally valid and useful in some cases e.g. acting like I know my shit when hosting visitors at work or giving a presentation).

But it’s true. Sometimes the best thing to do is to just confront it and feel it before you can get over it. Though sometimes it’s tempting to just take the easy way out and don’t allow yourself to feel at all.

When You're Not Ok Jill Stark

“Trying to get your validation and self-worth from external sources is like pouring water into a leaky bucket. There will never be enough to feel you up.”

Preach it!!!

When You're Not Ok Jill Stark

does it matter quote

EXACTLY what I have been saying since a few posts ago… It was something that someone recently taught me and it’s the most liberating thing ever.

Ok it’s like 2.30am which means bedtime.


Excerpt

She meets a boy. Her ‘dream-boy’. He resembles everything she has ever wanted in a boy. And the best part is that the dream boy feels that she is his dream girl. They are made for each other. He tells her that he felt this way as soon as he saw her. He tells her that they met for a reason, that they are from the same star, that they have a connection that surpasses anything either have experienced before. She believes him because she feels the same thing, and does not listen to that tiny whisper behind her, warning that “this is too good to be true.”

 

He leaves. She loves this boy. She does not know why she does or why he left. She analyses every conversation they ever had, replaying it in her head word for word while she cries and remembers all the good memories she has of her dream boy. But he does not come back. He is only a good memory; her dream boy.

 

So she tries to move on. She tries to talk to other boys. But she compares every boy to her dream boy even though she knows she shouldn’t. These boys know that she is heartbroken. They take advantage of her because they know that when a girl is emotionally damaged, she is seeking attention to heal her. So one by one, they push her sexually and emotionally to see how far she will go with each of them. These boys do not care about her emotions, because they have been hurt themselves by their ‘dream girls’.

 

She kisses many boys, sometimes she kisses girls, sometimes she doesn’t remember who she has kissed. She goes out every weekend and it is a very rare night when she does not kiss at least one boy. She is seeking a connection like the last one she had, but even though she does realize that she cannot find a connection by drunkenly kissing boys, she likes the attention she gets and she keeps doing it. She doesn’t care anymore who she kisses. She is not brave enough to risk her heart anymore.

 

— Anonymous
22 September 2016