I wanted to blog about Wednesday on Wednesday (Jan 28) but as usual, anything with photos take me lots of time which is the reason why I update so slowly. Now I feel like the moment has passed. Oh well.
It was a simple yet really good day. Wasn’t working and didn’t have anything on my to-do list. I promised Mr Azhar (my poly lecturer lol not my editor but they have the same name) that I would drop by NYP so I did. Well… after getting food at Northpoint to bring over haha. I felt like I owed him a lot of food -_-
This email was from freaking two years ago on Feb 22, 2013 but I never forgot about it okay. But yeah, didn’t really return at all except for graduation and for an alumni gathering last June.
(Convo has been trimmed to omit parts in between. Click to enlarge)
Actually I thought I’d be just dropping by and talking to Mr Azhar for awhile but when I went up to the Media Hub (had trouble finding it at first wtf), all the lecturers were there! They had just finished their Media Club elections and didn’t have any other classes so I guess I picked the right day to come ^^
We went to Ms Soo’s office and chilled over Famous Amos cookies, Old Chang Kee curry puffs (Ms Soo was so cute, she made a grab for the chilli crab one and kept smiling when eating it hahaha), Starbucks (specially for Mr Azhar only) etc.
It was really, really nice just talking to all of them. Oh and remember this module ICA? They are still doing it and Ms Soo is still the shark expert!! Plus the things you hear now that you are no longer a student… HAHAHA. I loved seeing how happy everyone was for me over my good news too.
Ms Soo: How long have you been working with them? 3 years? Me: Just slightly more than a year (16 months) as a full-time staff. Ms Soo: Wow they must really like you!
Ok la I joined full-time in Sep 2013 but at that time, I had already been there as an intern for six months and as a temp for another six months :P But forever amazed at what my internship turned out to be.
Went to walk around AMK Hub after that for awhile. Bought a box of durian pancakes and a cup of durian ice cream from Four Seasons, the latter of which I ate while walking to my grandma’s house.
I was feeling so content and at peace while walking. Like a 21-year-old who actually has her shit together (trust me… I don’t always feel that way even though I might look like I do). Thinking about how lucky I am and how good I have it. It’s a nice feeling. I wish I felt like this everyday.
Sat around the house for awhile and then had dinner outside with my parents, aunt and grandma. I was kinda surprised and happy to see my grandma eating quite a bit.
Funny how sometimes it’s the small things that count. I didn’t do anything terribly special on this day but I was in a exceptionally good mood. Dinner with my family always makes me happy actually, regardless of the venue. I love food and I love being surrounded by the people I love.
Few days back we were laughing over this ‘love story’ where the girl was gushing over the “sweetest thing” her boyfriend had ever done… which turned out to be him willing to share his umbrella with her when they were still just friends.
Not very romantic actually and of all things to write about, she chose this. But then after awhile I thought to myself that it’s the small stuff that counts and maybe that was exactly why this particular incident stuck with her after all this while.
Me: Eh we shouldn’t laugh! It’s the small stuff that counts. Kumar: You forgot to take medication today, is it?
LOL as usual. Actually I do enjoy our banter. Another of the small things that makes work fun.
Why would you do this??? Why do your ads always make me wanna cry???? This is actually as good as last year’s… maybe even better. And last year’s ad actually made me cry the first time I watched it. Actually I only stumbled upon it because I was trying to find out what made Passenger’s Let Her Go from 2012 suddenly become so popular in 2014. Freaking watch both ads okay they are amazing,
Pretty sure I caused most of my misery because as usual, my paranoid and insecure self turned nothing into a huge fuss. Even all my friends think it’s all in my head. When will I stop driving myself crazy by getting carried away with these stupid thoughts -_- To be fair, no one even did or said anything to me. I don’t even know why I was so upset over nothing wtf.
But it’s okay. I’m okay. I think I got all that shit out of my system these few days. Thankful for Naz and Kums for being so supportive even when I’m a psycho raging bitch. For lecturing me when I deserve it because I am weak-willed and spineless with no dignity :P
And because they are the only ones who actually know what’s really going on… sick of people just assuming shit and criticising someone they don’t even personally know just because they want to take my side. I never needed that because it was never a fight to begin with.
Thankful for my three bros Amos, Yixuan and Linus for putting up with me on Saturday night / Sunday morning and taking care of me. When I was bawling my eyes out and yelling the place down till the neighbours wanted to call the cops (LOL) and goodness knows what else. I basically lost control and went berserk (I’m surprised I didn’t insist on jumping off the block)… Why? Because my thoughts got the better of me again and it was really over nothing.
I don’t feel like I have to pretend or feel self-conscious around these people. In fact, it is because I’m with them that I have no qualms about behaving this way (ok but no more, I promise). With friends like these, I know I’ll be all right :)
Actually feeling pretty good today. I can’t believe how stupid I am being lor. Nothing changed. Nobody changed. I just started to expect too much and when I didn’t get what I want, I started to think rubbish and think something was wrong. Definitely all in my head… though I might be singing a different tune again tomorrow, who knows?
By right, I should be feeling on top of the world because I have practically everything going for me. Especially in my career. Best job ever and forever one of the best things to happen to me because I gained so much knowledge, experience and friends. Just got a promotion and my bonus last week, and I’m flying to New Zealand next week for an assignment.
“You always say that. And I know you mean it… but it’s never true.” – The Strain, 1×02
This is the face of someone who genuinely wants to believe that everything will be fine and that it will all work out in the end. The face of someone who doesn’t dare to hope or have any more expectations because time and time again, he ends up disappointed. The face of someone who really wishes he could trust you once more, but knowing that you are just going to fuck up and hurt him again. The face of someone who will still be quick to forgive you regardless of what you do because it’s impossible to stay mad at you. And because the alternative of not talking to you hurts more than anything else. The face of someone who still secretly believes that things will change for the better because any other thought is too painful to bear. The face of someone whom you take for granted because you know he will always be here to put up with your shit. The face of someone left wondering if he said or did anything to deserve such emotional abuse from you. The face of someone who would rather continue to listen your empty promises than argue with you. The face of someone who would rather suffer in silence than to lose you. Even though maybe he already has.