twiinklex ❤

Whatever

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July 14th, 2018 Posted 1:08 am

July 14, 2018 / 1:08AM

  • It’s a cross between missing you and thinking fuck you
  • To go from talking every day, sometimes all day, to not talking at all
  • Every time something happens at work, I wish I could still tell you
  • Just cos it doesn’t hurt like the first time doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt
  • Of all outcomes… I hate that it ended with the least likely one
  • Even if you do everything right, things can still go wrong
  • Just cos someone does things that show they care, doesn’t mean it’ll last
  • Why? Just why?

Posted in Others

Living my best life

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July 8th, 2018 Posted 7:07 pm

July 8, 2018 / 7:07PM

Super lazy to update because I’m tired from work and handling content even when I’m not in the office. Been working alone quite a bit too (my intern is not much help) but at least I get to leave early 😀 Give me busy but short days over long and boring ones any day!

The other day I woke up and it wasn’t the first thing I thought about. Instead, I thought about breaking news (was putting up an article at close to midnight before I went to bed) and… food. I feel so hungry all the time now.

I told CK that I can’t do my starving shit anymore and I’m back to eating two full meals a day, and sometimes even three hahaha. And that I really should be at the gym (this is much easier to commit to when you have nobody to eat with) but at the same time I wanna have long lunches with my friends…

Kevin came to visit last Friday so the three of us had a very longass 2-hour lunch. And it was buy 3 set lunches get 1 free so we were very ambitious.

Tims Nepalese Restaurant

My treat! 🤗

The set lunches came with bread, soup, drinks and cake for dessert LOL which we couldn’t finish but it was very nice, chatting over food and not being in a rush to go back.

Tims Restaurant & Cafe

I have a profound appreciation for CK and Farah because I see them on an almost daily basis so they are one I talk rubbish to most hahahaha. Like sometimes I know I am talking in cryptic circles and analogies but they don’t question it and just listen and say the right things back which is all I need. Thanks, guys 😂

Anyway I am really fine and if anything, I feel like I’m the best version of myself currently… maybe I’m not so terrible at this whole adulting thing after all.

Old Me New Me
Abuses alcohol when sad Hasn’t had a drink in ages, goes to the gym instead (endorphins!)
Sleeps 5 hours on average, sometimes less Tries to switch off lights by midnight and sleep by 1am for 7 hours of sleep
Cannot be bothered with self-care Wears sunscreen and has proper routines now (I wake up feeling so glowy sometimes)
Dresses like a hobo to work sometimes because I’m so tired Makes an effort even when I’m not going out after work as it makes me feel good
Keeps a few ‘toys’ on hand for when I’m bored even though I couldn’t care less Ditched all my ‘toys’ because they actually bore me and I don’t need them
Thinks ‘I’ll just find a replacement’ whenever someone makes me feel dejected Realises I never needed anyone because I fulfil myself
Never feels enough Knows I’m enough

 

I also bought a ton of new books yesterday which makes me super happy. Seriously I love books because they are always so comforting and relatable. Sometimes I wish I didn’t have to go to work so that I can just spend the afternoon reading books… hehe.

Book haul

“It is not the ecstasy that I had imagined, it was not the “high” that I pictured. Instead, it is something much better. It is the calm. The quiet. The serenity. It is the pause, the break, the comma to the never-ending sad story my brain was writing for a very long time. It is actually feeling other emotions more. Gratitude. Appreciation. Peace. Forgiveness. Humility. Love.” (x)

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Posted in Photographs