Tag: the fault in my scars

Had a 3-week break and it was actually the best time and I was riding a high, though felt like it all came crashing down the moment I returned. Such is life!

In a bid to comfort myself, I have been spending more frivolously than usual but no regrets and money does buy happiness as I do feel better/happier. Maybe because it gives me some semblance of control unlike all the other stressors in my life.

Ok but the past 2 weekends have been both ridiculous and fun (wish I had time to spam my IG stories):

• Brunch at Basilico @ Conrad (bill for 2 was $450 LOL)
• Dinner at Chatterbox @ Hilton
• Queued over 1 hour @ Casa Vostra
• Queued almost 1 hour @ Wangi Garden
• Spent over 2 hours at the hair salon
• Spent over 2 hours at the nail salon
• Hit book club 3x and a bunch of cafes
• Also had a media tasting @ Barossa and there was a wine bar that I made very good use of

Honestly none of the food places were worth the money or queuing time hahaha but the company made up for everything!! Don’t know why people including my mother say I’m too thin because you should see the way I eat on weekends…

My nails are gorgeous and super worth it though. Beauty is hard work ok??? If I’d known they would do such a thorough job with my dry and dead skin (sorry 😂), I would have gone right after my trip and not bothered doing anything myself.

Today started with Farah encouraging me and ended with me encouraging her #life

Feel very emotionally nourished by my friendships in spite of everything going on 🥹 It’s two-way, same frequency, I can speak freely, I feel listened to, most go way back with so much history and inside jokes.

I also feel like we are all collectively going through the millennial experience: Bad job market, bad dating market, escapism, doom spending etc etc 😂😂😂

Friends. Having actual friends. Not familiar acquaintances or online mutuals. Friends. One of the best hacks for a fulfilling life. https://t.co/sK2bv7cyEW

— Melanin Monroe (@Aku__Addy) August 27, 2024

Had a hilarious time with Kumar and Deborah on Sunday cos I was being faux dramatic and outraged.

Deb: Is it the on-off one who went overseas without telling you?

Me: No, another one.

Deb: The one who called you in Africa?

Me: They both called me 🫣🫣 (Alexa, play ‘it’s me, hi, I’m the problem, it’s me’)

Me: Remember my zebras?!?!?! I gave him one leh!!!

Kumar: ?????

Deb: You don’t understand.

Deb: She bought all the zebras in the shop.

Deb: I told her to buy all and the shopkeeper laughed at me, you know. Then she called me crazy but she bought ALL.

Kumar: … I thought you only had one and you lost it but nvm.

In my defence, it was only three zebras and one was not identical.

Me: Cos he gave me the Ratatouille so I gave him the zebra.

Deb: Ask for a trade back.

Deb: You rather have the Ratatouille or the zebra?

Me: It’s not the same!

Took him out for French food for a taste of home and he was a hit at book club 🤣 he had such a good time!!! https://t.co/IvYwbdXJD3 pic.twitter.com/ZMXvLXo5nD

— Cherlynn (@twiinklex) May 24, 2024

Me: Remember the macadamia nuts, I bought two packets?? One for my family, the other I gave him!!!

Me: And the cider also!!! I gave him one bottle!!!

Kumar: Errrr, I think the edibles can forget it.

(I remember early days when I asked what nuts are his favourite and he said macadamia and I joked that he has expensive taste, and I remember that he said Somersby is nice… I remember so many things but 🤷‍♀️)

Kumar: Imagine finally hearing from Cherlynn and you open the message but instead of ‘how are you’, it says, ‘Give me back my fucking zebra’.

Obviously we are all just joking (Cherlynn is too classy to hurl vulgarities so flippantly or ask for gifts back) but I do feel better 😂

I also separately texted them an update today (admittedly no full context) and they had the same response!!!

Thankful for everyone who’s been there for me cos dunno how I would be getting by 2024 otherwise 🥹

Feels like I’m having one therapy session after another 😂

Dinner with Charlie today and this is what he said:

“Means you are not on his priority list.”

“No you are not overreacting.”

“Just make sure you hold on to your stand. Don’t 心软 then give in.”

(My response: “That’s my problem. I always don’t hold on to my stand.”)

“That’s why I say. Cos I can tell. I read people very well.”

“Always find someone who loves you more than you love them.”

“He doesn’t treasure you, you must treasure yourself.”

I wonder if my friends would say the same thing if they had the full context 🙃

I guess I’m at the stage (again) where I’m second-guessing myself and wondering if I overreacted (I really don’t think so). All I wanted was to be informed that you would be overseas, like you have done so before. We even talked for over an hour the night before but there was not a word about it.

I didn’t even explain to anyone the degree of closeness but yes: Hour-long calls, daily chats, relationship lingo, having me saved as a sticker on your phone, asking me for my itinerary and flight details every time I travel and pinning the message in our chat, being in the doctor’s room with me, seeing me the day before I flew to Africa, seeing me the day I flew back… Do I not have the right to feel hurt??

Forgive me for thinking that someone who meant enough for you to save their photo and turn into a sticker on your phone deserves to be updated on something as basic as you not being around.

It is actually such a sacred and special sticker to me that I haven’t shared or used it in any other chat but I guess it was just me being a damned fool all along.

These came in a pair and we have one each but hey obviously means nothing too!!! The darned ring means nothing. The ilys mean nothing. No reason for me to be hurt and upset!!!!