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Bad decisions make good stories. And I always have a good story.

Tag: review

Little Women and little signs

I watched Little Women (2019) on Netflix recently and it reminded me of how I had this whole Twitter thread while reading the book in 2018. I’ve never watched the other movie adaptations but I quite liked this one and the plot is essentially the same.

little women 2019 movie

Firstly, Beth is the most precious and deserved so much better!!! I feel like Louisa May Alcott just wants to dish out life lessons and a dose of reality even though it’s a fiction book (maybe that’s what makes it a timeless classic). Sometimes bad things happen to good people 😞

And oh ya she cheated my feelings because Beth recovered only to die again wtf.

But most importantly, Jo and Laurie!!!

little women jo laurie

I feel like it’s impossible not to wish that they end up together while you are reading the book and their scenes together? They just seem right for each other and the chemistry is woooo.

But halfway through I kena spoilers and it wasn’t so fun anymore.

little women book

Nevertheless, I’m not a quitter so I continued with the book despite knowing that not only does Laurie not get together with Jo, he ends up with my least favourite character 👿

little women jo and laurie

See, they address each other so affectionately (it happens a lot, by the way, unlike in the movie where Jo says ‘my boy’ only ONCE) and yet we are expected to accept that they are not endgame!!!

Why would you do that??!?!?!?!

little women jo laurie

Then Laurie declares his undying love but is brutally turned down.

He goes a bit off the rails by gallivanting in Europe (ah, sweet old self-destruction because we all need a coping mechanism) when suddenly…

little women laurie amy

He decides that he loves Amy aka Jo’s younger sister aka the brattiest and worst sister!!!!? And it just sucks because it seemed like 75% of the book was building up Jo and Laurie, until Jo rejects him and suddenly he decides he loves Amy!!!!?

“Laurie decided that Amy was the only woman in the world who could fill Jo’s place…” HELLOOO why is it even written to sound like Amy is just a replacement for Jo?! At least if the author had spent more time building up Jo and Amy, then I might buy it. But noooo all we get is this.

Like they are just content and satisfied and that’s it. But content and satisfied is not enough!!!

mediocre love quote

Ok maybe I’m an idealist but I did grow up on romance novels (no idea why I turned into a thriller fanatic)… and I just feel like both Amy and Laurie deserved more than what seemed like a subpar love as compared to the relationship he had with Jo.

laurie jo gif

And yes I know real love is comfortable and not fireworks all the time but you’ll get what I mean if you read the book!! In the end I only rated it 3/5 stars despite all my emotional investment. Bummer.

little women ending

But logically, I totally get why Jo and Laurie didn’t end up together and why they would have not worked if they really did get married. They are just too different and they have totally different views/ideals/needs. Probably would have combusted in flames?

Meanwhile, Amy was the one who pushed Laurie out of his rut after he kinda lost it. Even though I never got *that* vibe from them in the book nor do I remember him looking at her the way he looked at Jo in the movie… (of course, you could say it was the good casting)

laurie jo 2019

What I’m trying to say is that sometimes two people might seem like a perfect match on the surface but actually aren’t.

A lot of my friends were shocked and in disbelief when I broke the news, which I can totally understand. I mean, I told my inner circle just to update them but I didn’t really go into detail as to ‘why’ even though that’s what everyone wants to know (I usually just gave a standard one-liner). But I don’t think it matters why and it’s not something I can accurately summarise to people outside the relationship (as the saying goes, there’s three sides to every story).

Even now, I am not writing shitloads or essay after essay like I have done in the past.

I just think everyone’s reactions are interesting. Deborah keeps saying, “I still can’t believe it leh” (believe it, cos it happened 😂). Farah said she “can’t imagine” who was the one who called it quits (not me). And those I asked all seem to think I was the one who wanted it (I wasn’t). Others were like, “I thought you guys were doing well/such a good match!” or something along those lines.

But it’s very easy to feel that way when you are watching from the outside, reading my sappy tweets and watching me gush on Instagram Stories.

Sadness is a lot more subtle, but the signs were there.

reassurance and consistency

prioritise your loved ones

honeymoon period myth

This one was from 2019 so I don’t really remember if there was something, however small, that happened to make me able to relate enough to retweet.

Sometimes I undo retweets or delete my tweets after the feeling passes, determined to just stay positive and carry on with no conflict. But some I refuse to delete because these are my beliefs and I stand by them, even now. Also because I need reminders that it isn’t sunshine and rainbows all the time.

make time for what you lovw

This one was bad enough for me to tweet something and not delete it afterwards. Of course, I’m by no means blameless or faultless. And if there’s a first needle, there’s also a second and a third and eventually at some point (pun intended), it has to stop.

Anyway, for all of Jo’s love for literature and flair for writing and wanting to stay true to herself, I am obviously the Laurie in this story 😂 But I’ve learnt to be okay with that too.

All Is Well (2018)

June 6, 2020 / 03:18AM

Not to be confused with the 2015 movie of the same name.

Alles ist gut

Watched this German film (Alles Ist Gut) on Netflix last week and was struck by how good it is. Usually slow films like this will take me multiple sittings to finish because of my short attention span but I finished this in one night. Love how simple and realistic it is.

It’s amazing how much can be said in so few words. Aenne Schwarz’s performance as the female lead is stellar. A brief plot synopsis can be found here. Despite all the minimalism, this is what’s unsaid but you can see on her face:

One minute you were having fun and then it all goes to shit. You are resisting and trying to stop it but he’s not backing off. Now he’s guilting you into feeling bad for leading him on. He’s getting aggressive. You’re getting scared. The alarms are sounding in your head. This is not how you wanted it to go. This is not supposed to happen. You want it to stop. Suddenly it’s all happening so fast, too fast, your mind is barely able to catch up and process what’s happening. You feel helpless and powerless. At some point you just want it to be over so you give up fighting. You lie there, waiting for it to be over. It’s like your mind has disconnected from your body. Then it’s over.

But it’s not really over, is it? The worst thing that could possibly happen happened. You want to move on, pretend it never happened, but you can’t. You want so badly to tell someone, for someone to understand and tell you that it’s okay, it’s going to be okay. But nothing is okay and who would believe you anyway? It’s your fault; you were drinking, you were flirting. So what if you said no? So what if you said no multiple times? Why didn’t you fight back? No one can possibly understand; the fear, the helplessness, how sometimes everything just freezes as a defense mechanism. No one will.

You tell yourself it’s no big deal. No need to make a fuss. Forget about it. No need to complicate things. You try to go on as normal, act like nothing happened, but it’s consuming you. It’s all you can think about. Some might notice that you are different, they say you’ve changed. Now’s your chance to say something. But you don’t. You can’t. You are carrying all these hurt and pain that no one can see. Why can’t they see? Some part of you is angry because why can’t they see that you are in so much pain? Why does no one see him for what he is? Why does he get to live his life while you are suffering?

But you have to keep going. Act like everything is fine. Be normal. Be numb. Compartmentalize. You are stronger than this, you can do it. All is super, you say. How dare he? You want him to feel your pain, even though you know he never will. And it hurts so bad, you’re not sure how much more you can take. All of a sudden, you are crying and you can’t stop, you allow yourself this one moment of weakness. You realise you are alone. So, so alone.

You’ve held it together for so long now. But you are unravelling. You are losing it. You feel your facade slipping. To others, you are having a meltdown in public, on a train. They don’t see. Why can’t they see? Nobody can. You tried to buy a ticket but the machine was broken, you tell them repeatedly. But they aren’t listening. Nobody ever does. Nobody listened when you said no and nobody is listening now. But you don’t care. It’s fine. All is well. All is well. All is not well.

All Is Well 2018