twiinklex ❤

Bad decisions make good stories. And I always have a good story.

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No rest for the wicked

The last post is too depressing. Need a new entry to push it down. Let’s see…

It’s been six weeks and I still haven’t finished my month-long course, which has been ‘suspended until further notice’. This is the second time… seems like I have no affinity with it. People who attend the same course usually finish it in four weeks without a hitch 🙁

singapore state courts

I was learning a lot and enjoying it. Visited the State Courts two weeks ago and it was sooo exciting! We sat through a City Harvest trial and watched Tan Ye Peng being cross-examined. The other accused parties such as Kong Hee and Serina Wee were seated just right in front of me.

On the way there to meet my course mates. I have to keep reminding myself not to smile because I have yet to fix my teeth!! It’s uglier than ever and I now look like I have one tooth missing after I got the chipped one filed down. Returning to the dentist later to fix it once and for all. Finally!

Dinner and dessert with a friend at Causeway Point on the same day. Yes, I’m one of *those people* who like Ilao Ilao. The cold actually hurt my tooth a lot before it was filed down, much more than biting off tough meat, but… the cold never bothered me anyway 😛

Funny how I thought being on course would mean more time for myself but life is still as hectic as ever. Been wanting a day where I simply go home at 5pm right after class and don’t go anywhere else but that has yet to happen.

Listed down what I did the past few weeks to keep track and so that I don’t forget should I ever want to blog (fat chance). I didn’t realise the extent of how packed my days are.

I’m emotionally drained and physically worn out. Sleeping 12 hours doesn’t seem that ridiculous now. So much drama and plot twists in my life, both good and bad. Well, at least there’s never a dull moment.

Wanted to die on Apr 6 in particular. I forgot that class would end late and even assumed it would end early. Ended up rushing home to get something / going to meet a Carousell buyer / popping into the dentist to enquire about price / meeting Andre with 2% phone battery left.

Left the cinema and switched on my phone to 30 calls from my editor. I used my last 1% battery to copy his number on Andre’s phone so that I could call back. Just imagine the same level of panic as when you have missed calls from your mum T_T

I have also become a terribly lazy person. Used to spot-clean my hamster cages every other day and do a complete wash once a week. Then it became every two days and every one and a half weeks. Now it’s every three to four days and once every fortnight.

It’s super tedious and seriously no joke having four hamsters ok. Two were gifts and two were adopted but I don’t regret any of them. Good thing they are low maintenance creatures. A fifth one might kill me and mean I don’t have to sleep at all anymore.

I think my hamsters lead super good lives. I mix seven types of food for them as their staple diet and I have three different types of treats to give occasionally.

Not very motivated to work either. I still do give my all but I know my heart and mind are elsewhere. Not sure if it’s because of whatever’s been going on or if I just had too much time off work. Maybe both.

I wasn’t scheduled to work on Christmas, New Year or Chinese New Year nor did I have to do the late shift on their Eves. I went to New Zealand then Hong Kong then on course, all within weeks of each other. 2015 has lots of long weekends which I was dreading because they mean more work for me, but so far I haven’t worked during any of them. I have requested for Labour Day though.

Understandable that I won’t have the mood to work after all these right??? LOL oops.
What I AM in the mood for:

– Eat everything without getting fat
– Watch movies one after another
– Read books and fics (woohoo Delena and Dramoine 4eva) all day
– Travel and see the world (can $$$ drop from the sky plz)

Dinner at Siam Square Mookata last Thursday (April 16). It’s pretty good at $29.90 nett per pax and I love the variety!! Not sure how CK finished 10 sets of smoked duck on his own but I was exploding by the end of our four-hour meal.

Teeth too ugly to show here. Actually I feel super old, fat, tired and frumpy nowadays wtf…


Drunk my ass off, fell the fuck down and knocked my teeth out

2015 has been a year of thoughtless yolo moments and reckless decisions, at times accompanied by regret and self-loathing. You would think that at the age of 21, I’d start having more sense but noooope. Getting real tired of my shit actually.

If you are here to preach or judge, please save your breath and go away. Logically I know everything e.g. don’t drink so much blah blah but applying what you know is another thing altogether. Everyone knows that we shouldn’t steal and that murder is wrong but people still commit crimes, ok?

I dyed my hair on Monday but instead of sharing photos of my hair, I’m going to show you pictures of my teeth 🙁 This time yesterday, I had all my teeth intact and could smile normally… yeah yeah eye bags because I slept 4 hours.

Was at Ling Yue’s birthday party with Clement and Darren. I was tipsy from vodka quite early on but didn’t stop. We made a toast to Ling Yue and downed our drinks in one swift gulp. One drink became two and so on. Downed even more cups with her boyfriend and I stopped bothering with mixers.

I don’t remember anything that happened after that, other than the impact of my fall on the ground. All I saw was black and nothingness the whole time, but I remember a sudden sharp ache on my teeth. Don’t even know where the fuck I fell. Indoors or outdoors? I’ll find out next time.

Apparently I threw up, was shouting and crying (Why?? Pretty sure I was in a good mood), and went into the swimming pool as well. Someone called me dad who came to get me… ugh worst option ever. Now my whole family knows zzzz.

My next memory is of me at home and getting into bed. Don’t even recall the ride home. Woke up at 6am this morning and remembered the ache on my teeth. Kinda knew what to expect, I guess. Checked my reflection and sure enough.

My front tooth fucking chipped off what the fuck… I am not in the mood to take a full selfie to do a before-after comparison. As if my self-esteem needs more battering. My teeth were already not nice to begin with. Time to stop smiling.

Sigh why can’t teeth heal and regenerate like our other body parts? Hopefully a dentist can work his magic and make the chip less obvious. If not, it will just serve as a permanent reminder of my stupidity and foolishness. Which I completely deserve.

I guess it could always be worse. I could have blinded myself, gotten a permanently crooked nose or a huge scar across my face. First thing I saw on my Facebook feed after seeing my teeth was this:

woman's vagina ripped

Woke up with worst headache ever as well. Fuck everything. I’m someone who needs to learn her lesson the hard way before I’ll get it. That’s what I always tell my friends.

As unbelievable as it sounds, I don’t drink a lot or all the time. It’s just that lately, I have been lacking more self-control than usual. Have only passed out drunk three times including yesterday and they all happened quite recently. At least I *finally* learned.

The previous time was earlier in January at Amos’s house with Yixuan and Linus.

I wish it was just this bottle of Barcadi (tastes like crap haha) that the four of us finished but nope. We made our own Jagerbombs by mixing Redbull and Jagermeister. Same thing, I was on a spree and everyone else tried to stop me but I wasn’t having any of it.

Was actually feeling super down then I started telling the rest about what’s going on before bursting into tears. It went downhill from there. I went all psycho and didn’t stop crying for hours. That’s all I remember, everything else I heard from the rest.

Was making such a din in wee hours of the morning that a neighbour threatened to call the police. In the earlier post, I said “I’m surprised I didn’t insist on jumping off the block” which was wrong because I just found out from Yixuan last week that I did try to -_-

I did eventually quieten down and slept it all off. Made it home in the morning with my family none the wiser. I think my mum suspected what happened though. Plus she nearly called the cops too because she thought something had happened to me, since I stayed out all night without telling her.

I am a fucking terrible human being what the fuck.

Before this, it was when I visited Hong Kong for the first time last November. Went to the famed Lan Kwai Fong district on a Friday night which is like our Clarke Quay, but a hundred times livelier.

I was really happy and life was marvellous then. Plus I was overseas and hence twice as yolo. Bar-hopped, ordered lots of cocktails and did plenty of shots.

Not much damage done, thankfully. Does the mood I am in really make a difference? All I did was giggle and laugh a lot, dance with a random stranger and I think that’s about it. At least I remembered the ride home before KO-ing in my hotel bed.

No wait, I did do something stupid… I meant to WhatsApp just one person and being tired, used the ‘record audio’ function to talk instead of type. The messages ended up all over the place to at least five different chats, none of which were the intended recipient.

Only Kumar and Noor got the audio clips (I was just yelling about being tired) but Azhar (aka the whole office) overheard them talking about it. Lol they are never going to let me live it down.

I KNEW SOMEONE WAS GOING TO SAY THIS EVEN BEFORE ANYONE REPLIED WTF.

Ok whatever, I’m swearing off hard liquor forever. Never again!!! The aftermath of pain and confusion is so not worth it. And now I’m disfigured too. Not sure why my friends even bother with me and the crap I put them through. What the fuck was I thinking?