twiinklex ❤

Bad decisions make good stories. And I always have a good story.

Tag: drunken escapade

Crying on the roof

Last Monday (Sep 7) was a Bad Day.

Our company has a rooftop party called ‘Up On the Roof’ every end of the month but Jeremy and I had our own private party there last week at midnight. All I wanted was to try the soju he brought back from his overseas work trip but alcohol and I haven’t exactly been seeing eye to eye very much this year.

I ended up crying on-off for three hours. If when I passed out cold and broke my tooth was a 10, and the Super Summer beach party when I injured my leg and wailed the place down was a 9, this is about a 7.

korea soju

I was skeptical about the 17% alcohol content at first but now I know better… Can you believe that a bottle like this is only S$1.50 in Korea???

At first I was just sitting on the ledge and talking rubbish like whether a fall from that height would result in instant death but Jeremy made me come down. Then I can’t remember what triggered it but afterwards I started crying. While lying down on the wooden table, on the bench and everywhere. Then he tried to take the bottle away from me and said I had enough but I started ranting.

“You can’t take it back after giving it to me, do you know that it is very cruel to give someone something, let them know how it feels like and how happy it can make you, only to take it away from them????”

“Are you talking about yourself?”

Wonder what a sight I must have been (luckily it was dark). It was really just loads of crying and ranting. Like a purge.

Jeremy kept telling me that it’s not worth it and that I knew this was bound to happen someday even if not now (nothing I don’t already know. Like I said before, I am and was logically aware of everything since Day 1). Kept insisting I was the one making myself sad. Maybe, but it’s better than feeling nothing.

Last month, we were discussing something completely unrelated and serious but his response was so funny that I’ll never forget it. So I kept quoting him and telling him that me being sad is my problem as well. He had no witty retort since they were his words.

But really… it’s my own problem. I’m not hurting or affecting anyone but myself. And honestly I do not care very much about myself anymore.

Call it acting out or whatever but I keep doing reckless shit. Then I’ll somehow think of what you would be saying if you knew. How you used to always tell me I’m too trusting (ironic isn’t it…), your reaction when I broke my tooth etc and upset myself even more.

Anyway, we went to eat at Meng’s Kitchen after I sobered up because food makes everything better. I think Jeremy was waiting for an appropriate, non-crying time to give me some cute socks he got me in Korea. Sorry I’m always such a pain when drunk… though half the time he’s the one who brings me the alcohol.

And then as usual, I somehow magically managed to show up for work the following day, looking and feeling completely fine. Proud to say I’ve never once let personal problems affect my work.

How I finally look human again (but nearly went blind)

Background story: Drunk my ass off, fell the fuck down and knocked my teeth out

Ok finally the second part of the story – the recovery process! This is really the drunkest I’ve ever been. The one and only time where I blacked out completely and don’t remember what happened at all. Apparently I fell near the swimming pool. Didn’t even notice the line of bruises on my leg until later.

Unfortunately, it is still not the stupidest thing I’ve done all year (and it’s only May). Friends keep saying that my life is damn dramatic. At first, I disagreed but when enough people tell you the same thing, you start to believe it. Even at drinking games, I seem to be the one with more vices, secrets and drama than everyone else…

Maybe because everyone else is a lot more sensible than me. For an introvert, I am quite reckless and thoughtless. See la, #YOLO until I had to live with a chipped tooth for a week. It hurt to bite any food and cold stuff like desserts were the worst. Not that I ate any less.

My uncle is a dentist so I went down to his clinic on Apr 9 to get my teeth looked at. Fillings weren’t ideal so my tooth got filed down for a crown capping. All that blood was traumatising and it hurt at times. My aunt said I was ‘lucky’. Apparently it could have been worse because I could have injured my teeth even worse and required an extraction.

Also had to keep my mouth open for ages while they tried to make a mould.

When I looked at my teeth afterwards, I was HORRIFIED.

I was pretty sure this had been a mistake. Was thinking, “Omg why would you do this to my teeth?!?!? Are you sure this is right?!?!!? It’s irreversible!!! Shit, should have just asked for the tooth to be filed till it was even again without the jagged edge… Uneven incisors are better than this?!?!?”

It didn’t just look bad with such a big gap there. Somehow, it also made my other teeth look more crooked than usual, as if they were sticking out all over the place. It’s like you don’t realise the difference one tooth makes until you lose it.

Personally I thought I looked really shitty and had to keep reminding myself to smile as little as possible, which turned out to be quite difficult.

Then I had to endure a second round of “What happened to your teeth?!” questions and relieve the whole dental experience again. Was on course at that time so that meant an extra group of people to explain to. I usually leave out any mention of ‘drunk’ unless someone keeps probing lol.

Went to Batam over a weekend with crappy-looking teeth even. Finally went down to the dentist again on Apr 21 after getting the call that my fake tooth was ready. It’s basically a capping over what’s left of the mutilated tooth. Think of it as wearing a hat or something.

Lousy before-and-after because taking good selfies require effort but I’m just too tired to nitpick. I grey-scaled these pictures because my skin looked so blotchy like it was oozing with fatigue.

The new tooth felt super weird at first. I don’t know how to describe it… like too thick and spongy and obstructive? I was initially dismayed that it would feel like this for the rest of my life but my aunt said it would feel normal after a week or so.

And like magic, it really did! Not because I got used to it but somehow the tooth just “settled in”. I could feel the day-by-day difference and now it’s like nothing ever happened.

Only difference is that the back of the born-again tooth is a flat wall, unlike the rest of my teeth. Hmm but it hurt a bit when I was eating ice cream a few days ago. And as natural as it looks, it’s still fake… which is a thought I have to live with for the rest of my life.

Here’s the market rate for crown cappings at local dental clinics. Crazy right??? So grateful to my uncle who charged me only $300. And I get to claim $180 from my company.

So in a nutshell, things really could have been a lot worse. Ultimately, all the trouble I went through (money plus time spent, questions I had to answer, my mum getting mad at me, my dad having to come pick me up after I blacked out) is really not worth it.

Need to take better care of myself. If I didn’t know better, I would think I have a masochistic streak in me because of all the shit I put my body through. Aside from a lack of sleep, I nearly went blind weeks ago.

Wore contact lenses for 60+ hours straight, including to sleep for 2 nights, because I’m an idiot. When I removed them, my eyes hurt which I assumed was normal. What I didn’t know that the lens in my right eye had torn and there was still a piece of glass stuck under my eyelid or somewhere.

I just went to sleep like normal. Fortunately when I woke up, the torn piece came out of my eye by itself. Made me realise how easily I could have gone blind or required surgery… and it’s not the first time my contact lenses have tore while still in my eye because I’m always wearing them for terribly long hours.

hermione what an idiot gif

Still am… wonder when will I ever learn???