• “Are you Maria?” (I hope this is some group meet and you aren’t having a first date at a rave…)
• “Do you know where to get (substance)?”
• “Where is your boyfriend?”
• “Why do you not have a boyfriend?”
• “So you are here as?” *shows media pass* “Influencer?”

I thought the last one was funny; might be the way he said it, like he doesn’t think much of influencers LOL or maybe because I find it to be a personal affront. Not offended, just that I report facts for a living which contrasts so much with marketing unrealistic lifestyles 💀 It’s also not the first time I’ve been mistaken for an influencer, which is funny if you know how my personality is anything but 😂

Anyway, I had a blast but at the same time I am also surprised at myself.

First of all, the invite came in via work and I volunteered to cover it because MARTIN GARRIX. But after rsvping, I started second-guessing myself because it’s not my usual scene, I am old now, blah blah blah, would I still enjoy it? Would I still have the energy to party through the night?

Secondly, I planned to go for just Day 2 with Ling Yue because MARTIN GARRIX and let’s be real, travelling to and fro Sentosa is shag. But I surprised myself by going for Day 1 alone. Thought I would just show face to the PR team and stay for a set or two instead of wasting my tickets, but I lingered until 2am 💀💀💀

It was fun but kinda blahhh and nothing compared to my ZoukOut 2016 experience. I enjoyed Blink’s set and thinks he’s underrated, but Wukong was not my cup of tea at all. It was so tacky and the graphics are more vulgar than funny…. I go to a rave for EDM, not Chinese orchestra 🤡

Even Alesso did not hype me up that much. Maybe my energy was already depleted by then #old. The PR girlies were super kind to me though!! Invited me into the VIP tent (mine were general admission tickets) and there was hot food, free-flow drinks, seats and fans 🥹

I was chatting to their 19-year-old intern and thinking about how *I* used to be the intern talking to people in their 30s 😂😂😂 Gosh.

Decided to leave with her and her colleague because otherwise, I wouldn’t know where the pick-up point is. Never mind that Grab quoted me $68 because I couldn’t even get one. By a huge stroke of luck, the colleague was staying in Woodlands so I asked if I could just alight with her and book a new ride from there. She even insisted on staying downstairs with me until I managed to find a driver even though it was so late and she was so tired 😭

Thanks to them, my ride home was only 10 minutes and $17!!!! I am so so grateful and will not forget this kindness. Girl code is real; leave no woman behind.

I came much later on Day 2 and the crowd was insane. The PR girlies to the rescue again so I didn’t have to queue. At first they said only I am allowed in the VIP tent but in the end they came through and got both LY and I in 🥹 Though I was barely in there the whole night. Ain’t no way I’m experiencing MARTIN GARRIX from anywhere else but right in the action ok?!

Goshhh I had a phenomenal time!!! Day 2 was definitely more like the ZoukOut I know and love. I still think 2016 was better but this was awesome nevertheless. I’m super glad his set was at 9.35am and not wee hours (freaking 4am LOL) like in 2016 because I am old.

I made sure to record as much as I could while still living in the moment and enjoying the music, because from past experience, I knew I would want to keep reliving the night.

And I was right because it’s been a week and I am still intoxicated from my experience. Not in the alcohol sense obviously but I simply can’t stop rewatching my videos clips. They make me smile so much!!

The music thumping through my entire being, the heat from the flames on my face, the high energy, hearing the electrifying tunes and my favourite songs and seeing my favourite DJ live… just a one-of-a-kind experience that no streaming platform can replicate.

And of course it comes with being packed like sardines, squeezing through crowds, sweating like hell, but it’s all part of the experience and I would do it all again!!

Lots of people were super surprised that I came alone on Day 1 because ya, really rare to see that at a rave. Trust me, I was equally surprised myself 😂

I guess I am at a point where I’m just super comfortable in my own skin and I’ve always enjoyed my own company. Solo travel, solo coffee and restaurant dates, I even went to the cinema alone for non-work related movies for the first time last month.

To answer my own question…. yes you can still enjoy partying even after your 20s, albeit with less stamina. Plus points about ageing: You don’t even need alcohol to have a good time, there’s no need to explain or account for your whereabouts, there is no social anxiety.

In fact, I am surprised by how much I enjoyed myself. It’s hard to explain it succinctly but I just felt so young, so happy and so free!!! 💓

And yes I wrote this post with my clips replaying in the background 🤭

Ask around, do a search online and everywhere will tell you why consistency is important. It also sounds easy in theory but is pretty darn difficult to apply. I’ve always prided myself on being a consistent person but today I really felt just how hard it is.

It’s not just about habits and goals or showing up for yourself or maintaining the same energy, but also the things like protecting your boundaries, not yoyo-ing and sticking it out even when it’s uncomfortable, for your own happiness in the long run, instead of choosing instant gratification. Today I feel tested.

I am more affected by the intangible things than I care to admit but even the tangible things like work and not skipping my pilates class was tough today. It was so tempting to go home before sunset while the rain had abated and eat McDonald’s…

I did turn up in the end since the rain had stopped temporarily and it’s just at the HDB block next to office (outdoors but under a sheltered pavillion) but I got my legs so dirty while walking there and the ground was still wet but I lay my mat down anyway 😩😩😩 Super ick!!!

I had to wipe my mat and legs and everything after returning to office but worst was how the rain had turned into a storm by the time I wanted to leave, so everything inside my bag got soaked even though I had an umbrella. So tired dirty smelly by the time I got home, ewww. Nothing a hot shower can’t solve but ya, felt like it would have been easier to just skip class! And no I did not get to eat my McDonald’s 😠

Lol ok just a silly rant.

I’ve been feeling gloomy and depleted allllll day. Maybe it’s the weather, maybe it’s just one of those days. Unloaded a bit on Farah and I feel validated, in the sense that her reactions and responses make me feel that I am not overthinking things or making something out of nothing?

I don’t know why I still second-guess myself when time and time again my intuition turns out to be right and deep down I know it’s not nothing. Maybe because I’m used to minimising my own feelings so that other people don’t have to deal with them (something I am trying to work on).

She’s really one of those who just gets it, probably because we are similar types who feel everything so deeply. Today I was telling her how with some people (e.g. me and her) you just click and are on the same frequency, but with others I feel nothing at all and it’s not that there’s nothing to talk about, but I just don’t feel like opening up to them at all 😂

Anyway before she left office, she told me, ‘I’m proud of you!’ and it just meant so much and was exactly what I needed today 😭😭😭

Just remember. You run yourself ragged for other people, Adelaide. You deserve someone who’s going to show up for you, too. — Adelaide, Genevieve Wheeler

Quote from one of my favourite books this year.

Yes I do 🥹