Red

Hard to get a good, accurate picture but I adore my new nails. Have always tended to avoid red on my fingernails (love them on my toes) cos I find it kinda loud but somehow I’m feeling it now + I think it’s about finding a shade that fits.

Red is for passion (I do think I’m a passionate person by nature, I rarely do things halfway, it’s all or nothing with me and right now I’m superrr disengaged lol cos I always allow dimwits to dim my light).

Red is for the rage I feel, not at any one specific person but at everything I have been through.

Red is also strength and danger and power.

Been urged by multiple people to fight back and they don’t understand why I’m not. Apparently I have lots of bullets (maybe more than anyone else) and it’s “frustrating” how I am “holding back”.

Yeah ok I’ve always been an empath, INFP, mediator personality type etc blah blah. In fact I’m surprised at how I can still feel sorry for someone like that after everything and that I still feel sad/wistful over how things used to be.

But mainly it’s because I know that once I fight back, when I truly decide to go down that path, it will be ugly. Mostly for that someone but I actually don’t wish to be that kind of person either.

My go-to has always been to not engage at all because it’s beneath me 🤷‍♀️

For clarity’s sake I’m talking about an entirely different matter and person from the last few posts. Though I think by now everyone in my inner circle vaguely knows about both because I have been soooo different hahaha. Even SM of all people asked if I’m ok 😂

Sentiments are the same regardless of which friend group:

• Hardly any IG stories anymore
• “Alarmingly” thin / thinner and thinner every time
• Constant state of anxiety and stress cos I always need to go home to work or do this and that

More Farah QOTDs that I really appreciate 🥹🥹🥹:

“Remember when you went for that training and all the good feedback you got?”

“If there’s one thing we know over and over again, it’s that you are resilient.”

Anyway, back to the previous topic. Funny that I didn’t have to ask but:

• Freaking ZoukOut Guy can inform me that he’s going overseas
• On-off person can tell me he’s unavailable for the week
• Even SM told me he was going to Bangkok (“eh my favourite”) and which days he’s working

But the one I talked to most couldn’t even say a word!!!!! #IfHeWantedToHeWould