When people ask me what is it about my boyfriend and why him, I always find myself unable to properly articulate how I feel. Not because I don’t know what to say. Not because I can’t answer. But because there’s so much to say, I wouldn’t know where to begin. Because the true extent of my thoughts and feelings cannot be conveyed in a normal catch-up session between friends.
But I can write about it.
So this was what inspired this post. I started it in August (!!!) as a listicle of all the little things I love about him and the not-so-little things he has done for me, but decided to publish it now as sort of a tribute because… you’ll find out why at the end.
Felt safe from the beginning
I was on my way to meet him one night (hours before I left for Nepal!!!) and it was quite dark and quiet. Normally that would have been fine but some creep (whose ‘affections’ I didn’t reciprocate) was sending me aggressive texts, which I was reading while walking.
Suddenly I realised there was someone behind me and naturally I started feeling scared and worried (human instincts). I turned around briefly but it was dark so I couldn’t see anything other than it seemed like a guy. I wondered if the weirdo was stalking me because he knows where I live.
But then the person walked up to me, took my arm in his, and fell in step with me. Turns out it was him and I have never felt more safe and relieved in my life. Plus happy and surprised and amazed that he managed to find me even though we’d agreed on a meeting point elsewhere, especially since I was like in the middle of nowhere.
(reminds me of this moment in Howl’s Moving Castle)
Even though it was just a fleeting moment, it’s a significant one to me. I can still vividly remember how I felt when I realised it was him, how my fear and adrenaline dissipated. He made me feel calm and safe and happy — and he still does.
Him offering to carry my gym bag was one of the very first things he said to me and clearly it left quite an impression if I still remember it now. I mean, it didn’t make me gush or fall in love immediately cos we had only just met but it definitely did something to my feels. I don’t know why, because to other people it might seem like basic courtesy/being a gentleman, but it’s in the little things.
How do I put it? He pays attention to all the little things and I can see how much he loves me in all the little things he does… So maybe that one sentence he said was my first sign of the kind of person he is. He’s also dependable and always keeps his word, no matter how minor, and I’m proud of him every day.
When he came over at 1am and said what he said
(My private Twitter which only I have access to for my most intimate thoughts and feelings)
I was about to lights out but he told me to wait for him to finish ironing his shirt (a guy who does chores!!! I don’t even iron my clothes) and he would come over. It was almost 1am and we were just lying in bed when he said something (I forgot how I responded).
I’m not gonna share what he said (no, it’s not ‘I love you’) but the entire thing (not just what he said) was so momentous to me that I tweeted it on my private Twitter account so that I would never forget (not that I ever will). I wonder if he still remembers hahaha.
When I was sick and he travelled everywhere and took care of me
He had work and stuff to deal with but still made me a priority even though it meant rushing here and there all over Singapore.
Another time I had an infection and was feeling gross but he said, “I love you and your infection.” 😂 It might seem like a simple remark but to me it also signifies how he accepts me for all my flaws and loves me for who I am.
He’s never mean or unkind to me even during conflict
I don’t call it an argument because it wasn’t one. More like being throwing a childish tantrum. I was on the offensive like a bulldozer but he didn’t argue back or get defensive, let alone be mean or unkind or hurtful. Thankfully, we worked past it because we are always communicating and there’s nothing I can’t tell him. More importantly, he never ever pressures or bullies me into doing anything I don’t want to do.
He lets me eat food even when I know he wants it
He’s always giving in to me and spoiling me. Scooping food from a pot of mala onto my bowl, cutting my steak, buying me bubble tea exactly the way I like it, bringing me to eat my favourite foods, making sure I eat properly and regularly.
Sometimes I know he’s still hungry and/or wants to eat some more but he lets me have the last of it. Like when he gives me most of the potato noodles during mala (somehow it’s never enough no matter how many bundles we order) just cos he knows it’s my favourite.
Helps me to grow in every aspect
Physically: See above 🤣
Emotionally/personally: I have definitely grown and matured as a person thanks to him e.g. being more sensible and frugal, seeing the big picture in things, having proper thought processes (hard to explain this here but I’m sure he knows what I’m talking about). I like that he keeps me grounded.
Professionally: He’s been reading my work since day one (he actually went to look for it after we met hahaha which means something to me too) but it’s not just that. He’s always encouraging me and believing in me, even when I’m being hard on myself. He’s constantly urging me to pursue and work on my passions because he sees the potential in me. He has even helped me pave the way to more opportunities e.g. scoring me a writing gig etc.
Goes the distance for my loved ones too
He doesn’t just go the distance for me, but for my loved ones too. Sometimes I think my hamsters prefer him over me LOL cos he gives them lots of attention every time he comes over. Not forgetting all the times he helped me to clean and wash their cages, drive them to and fro the vet, all pet store visits for supplies.
Koko (my brown long-haired hamster) went over his place for a staycation and came back looking so radiant. He’s like a fat lion with a magnificent mane who always wants belly rubs now 🤣 Melon (white short-hair) is currently over there and gets to roam freely in an air-con room every day.
So thankful to have him helping to lighten my load… though he ended up falling in love with hamsters and adopting one of his own too 😝
Other little things I love
– He always has his hand out for me to hold when we are outside
– He always makes sure I’m walking inside while he’s nearer to the road
– He lets me indulge in my obsession with books and accompanies me to the library (“I feel so lucky you never tell me you wanna go Sephora” 😂)
– Halo halooo haloooo haloooooo halooooooo and knock knocks and endless inside jokes
– Gives me the most precious gift of time and just wants me to be happy
Ok la I can go on and on forever but then this post will never see the light of the day. I just love how with him, everything is easy and simple and happy. I’ve never felt more connected and in sync with someone, and no one gets me like he does.
Happy birthday, my love ❤️
I’m so happy I found you.