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Posts Tagged ‘Game of Thrones’

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June 19th, 2018 Posted 11:18 pm

June 19, 2018 / 11:18PM

I feel good today. And I want to stop feeling bad and guilty and ashamed over something that’s not entirely my fault or my own doing to begin with, especially when there’s nothing I can do but wait it out and hope for the best. Especially when my feelings are not being considered, so I should be selfish and just focus on myself too.

Hopefully this positive vibe lasts… maybe it’s because I went to the gym today and had a rather long run. Was rewatching Game of Thrones scenes on the treadmill and I got reminded of how the show helped me to be strong at a time when I really needed it.

game of thrones inspiring

I meant to tweet this (sometime in 2016 when Season 6 was airing) but never did and it’s been sitting in my drafts ever since. But it’s really more than just a show to me because it has taught and inspired me so much.

Rewatching Daenerys destroy all her enemies and Cersei blow up the city today reminded me of the strong female like them that I’m supposed to be. How could I have forgotten and allowed other people to make me feel bad about myself? I got carried away, let my guard down and made myself vulnerable once more… but never again.

all men must die but we are not men gif

Anyway, I wonder at what point will I finally stop this fixation with being thin??? I don’t think I have been this weight since my school days and yet I still don’t feel like it’s enough. And I get the feeling that I’ll never be satisfied.

It saddens me that I am no longer a 36C but I guess you can’t have the best of both worlds ? Sucks that I still have new bras in that size that I have yet to wear!! I don’t wanna be flat but I also don’t wanna be fat and I also worry about over-running and being too muscular.

Also, I realised that it’s very easy to not eat when your mood is shitty and you have no appetite. As compared to exercising all your willpower and discipline to starve. For the past few days, I’ve been eating only one meal a day but I can’t even finish my food.

Today I was at Toast Box and wanted to get toast because I planned on going to the gym instead of eating lunch. While queuing, I Googled how many calories there would be in butter toast (I don’t like kaya or peanut butter which are healthier alternatives).

butter toast calories

Walao I was so horrified upon seeing this (especially the butter part) that I decided not to order it at all and just got tea (coffee is my toxic bff lol). I wish I could stop obsessing over numbers (calories, weight etc) but I can’t help it.

I was also telling Farah that I feel like my hair is thinning because it keeps dropping but her hair looks very thick and nice. Then she said actually she drops a lot of hair and that mine looks thick to her HAHAHA. So I get that a lot of it is really just in my head… but how do you stop compulsive behaviour?

But it’s ok I’m a work in progress and one day at a time ok. I think I’ve got exercise and diet down fine, but it’s sleep which I’ve always had a problem with. Now my new rule is lights out before midnight, so that I’ll sleep earlier, and I’ve been trying to follow it.

You know, as much as I whine and wallow sometimes, I do like my life. Crazy and messy it might be, but at least it’s never boring and I do like living.

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What’s easy, what’s right and what’s best

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July 24th, 2017 Posted 1:03 am

Recently started (and finished) playing Game of Thrones (literally playing the video game by Telltale). It’s very good but also one of the hardest decision-making games (where your choices affect the storyline) I’ve ever played.

They really spared no expense and I love the attention to detail The characters resemble the ones in the show to a tee and they are apparently voiced by the same cast, which explains the accuracy. Even the soundtrack and opening credits are the same.

The storyline is canon and set during the War of the Five Kings. You play different characters of House Forrester of Ironrath aka Stark bannermen, though references to the Starks (who have fallen) are minimal and you don’t see them at all.

Game of Thrones being Game of Thrones, the game is just as brutal, shocking and graphic. It opens with the freaking Red Wedding, for goodness sake. Yup, way to grab attention.

Should have known better that any characters I like will end up dying, but I get attached to them and am left in shock when they get killed off ? Oh hey what’s new.

For instance, there was a very handsome knight called Arthur Glenhill who commanded an army and was supposed to help one of your POV characters…

He ended up being tortured and gutted by Ramsay Snow (using a photo from when he was still conscious and alive because his death is bloody graphic even for computer effects. Imagine him being slashed and stabbed a few more times, passing out and then being gutted while people watched his intestines fall out. Welcome to Game of Thrones):

Sadly, of the five POV characters I got to play, one was stabbed in throat by Ramsay Snow, one was ambushed and slain in battle, one was badly injured after staging a failed ambush, and one was beheaded ???

This is the only one of my characters (Gared) who was alive and well by the end of all six game episodes. Mainly because he was sent to the Wall and fighting whitewalkers lol. Also the most handsome character to me.

Does anything else thinks Asher looks like Chris Pratt though???

Anyway, I realised that I am not cut out to be a Player in the game of thrones at all because my choices are always too honourable. I tried keeping all the promises that I’d made, protecting my friends’ secrets even when they could endanger me, choosing to help my friends instead of sacrificing them to stay alive.

Somehow I just can’t be cruel like Cersei or cunning like Littlefinger…

Actually my female POV character (the one who was beheaded) could have stayed alive. The choices were to get beheaded for murdering a Lannister guard (yup I did it lol) or to accept a traitor’s help aka marry him thus making him Lord of Ironrath.

In return, he will name a 10-year-old coal boy, who’s also your friend and has been helping you the whole time, as the one who committed the murder. Meaning the boy’s head will be on the chopping block instead.

I just couldn’t do it (even though it’s just a game) so I chose to die. My last words were “Iron from ice” aka House Forrester’s motto ? Surprisingly, more than 75% of players made the same choice I did so there is still hope for humanity.

Clearly I learned nothing from Ned Stark. Most honourable man in Westeros who got killed within the first season of the show. However, I’m not sure if I’d still be as kind and always wanting to do right if these scenarios happened in real life and survival instincts kick in.

Hardest choice in the game for me was when I had to pick which Forrester brother to sacrifice. Only one could escape while the other stayed behind to fend off their enemies.

Actually I didn’t even make a decision for this one because I was still weighing my options, considering who would be more useful. I took so long that the game decided for me. So Asher lived while Rodrick died. Either way it sucks.

I thought I felt bad for the Starks but the Forresters had it no better ? Basically, keeping in true essence with the whole A Song of Ice and Fire universe… everyone dies.

I really hate it when I think I’m doing the right thing and somebody dies anyway. It happened so many times. And I fucked up quite a bit too cos while some deaths were inevitable, there were other events that could have been different.

E.g. I failed to secure a betrothal, accidentally killed a Brother of the Night’s Watch, got fired by Margaery and was left with zero protection etc.

It made me think about how, just like in life, what you think is the right thing to do might not always be the best decision. And the best decision is not always the easiest. Somehow or other, someone always gets hurt. Nothing is ever simple. But every mistake is also a lesson.

Geez, even the Game of Thrones video can provoke so much thought in me. I am on the fifth book and the series is really. really too remarkable for words.

We should all drink up like these 2 ???