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Living my best life

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July 8th, 2018 Posted 7:07 pm

July 8, 2018 / 7:07PM

Super lazy to update because I’m tired from work and handling content even when I’m not in the office. Been working alone quite a bit too (my intern is not much help) but at least I get to leave early ? Give me busy but short days over long and boring ones any day!

The other day I woke up and it wasn’t the first thing I thought about. Instead, I thought about breaking news (was putting up an article at close to midnight before I went to bed) and… food. I feel so hungry all the time now.

I told CK that I can’t do my starving shit anymore and I’m back to eating two full meals a day, and sometimes even three hahaha. And that I really should be at the gym (this is much easier to commit to when you have nobody to eat with) but at the same time I wanna have long lunches with my friends…

Kevin came to visit last Friday so the three of us had a very longass 2-hour lunch. And it was buy 3 set lunches get 1 free so we were very ambitious.

Tims Nepalese Restaurant

My treat! ?

The set lunches came with bread, soup, drinks and cake for dessert LOL which we couldn’t finish but it was very nice, chatting over food and not being in a rush to go back.

Tims Restaurant & Cafe

I have a profound appreciation for CK and Farah because I see them on an almost daily basis so they are one I talk rubbish to most hahahaha. Like sometimes I know I am talking in cryptic circles and analogies but they don’t question it and just listen and say the right things back which is all I need. Thanks, guys ?

Anyway I am really fine and if anything, I feel like I’m the best version of myself currently… maybe I’m not so terrible at this whole adulting thing after all.

Old Me New Me
Abuses alcohol when sad Hasn’t had a drink in ages, goes to the gym instead (endorphins!)
Sleeps 5 hours on average, sometimes less Tries to switch off lights by midnight and sleep by 1am for 7 hours of sleep
Cannot be bothered with self-care Wears sunscreen and has proper routines now (I wake up feeling so glowy sometimes)
Dresses like a hobo to work sometimes because I’m so tired Makes an effort even when I’m not going out after work as it makes me feel good
Keeps a few ‘toys’ on hand for when I’m bored even though I couldn’t care less Ditched all my ‘toys’ because they actually bore me and I don’t need them
Thinks ‘I’ll just find a replacement’ whenever someone makes me feel dejected Realises I never needed anyone because I fulfil myself
Never feels enough Knows I’m enough

 

I also bought a ton of new books yesterday which makes me super happy. Seriously I love books because they are always so comforting and relatable. Sometimes I wish I didn’t have to go to work so that I can just spend the afternoon reading books… hehe.

Book haul

“It is not the ecstasy that I had imagined, it was not the “high” that I pictured. Instead, it is something much better. It is the calm. The quiet. The serenity. It is the pause, the break, the comma to the never-ending sad story my brain was writing for a very long time. It is actually feeling other emotions more. Gratitude. Appreciation. Peace. Forgiveness. Humility. Love.” (x)

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Treat yoself

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May 27th, 2018 Posted 6:57 pm

May 27, 2018 / 6:57PM

I’m actually in relatively good spirits this week even though I’m (still) coughing my lungs out and my feet are dotted with swollen mosquito bites. Maybe because I am too tired and lazy to summon the willpower/discipline to starve myself. If anything, I ate a lot of sinful food all week and it is just so comforting that I don’t want to think about calories.

Plus I suppose I can afford to cut myself some slack after all the hard work. I think I lost like 10 pounds??? Quite proud of myself even if my methods weren’t the healthiest. But at least I got here… I was looking at my photos from Feb and thinking how fat I was even though that’s only like 3 months ago.

THANK YOU MY FRIENDS ???

And I also feel like everyone has been extra nice to me this week maybe because they can tell I’m not feeling my best.

I was feeling damn sian on Wednesday because my intern has been giving me a lot of problems. Then Karl and Mark asked me to go Jollibee with them for lunch but it was only noon (I usually can’t get away till 2pm) and I still had quite a few important articles to do.

At first I was like ok nvm… ? Then I realised eh fuck it la why can’t I fuck care this once and it’s not like I get this chance every day and it’s the perfect day for this since CK is not around and Farah is fasting. So I really left everything and disappeared for 2 hours. Mark drove and Karl paid and I felt sooo good eating pasta and fried chicken and fries.

I know it’s just lunch but I was unusually grateful for the respite from work and my miserable diet and self-torture. Mark said he has been eating health food for 7 months so he “really needed this” which I totally get.

Also had a lot of wine that night (2 bottles for 2 people but I think I drank more) then I both liquid vomited and word vomited omg what’s wrong with me.

On Thursday evening, someone actually cooked me a meal and brought it all the way to my office ? Even the gift was very thoughtful and I was touched by the effort. Then someone else gave me VIP tickets to the FAFF premiere on Friday which was enjoyable.

Thank you everyone ok I really appreciate all these nice gestures and when people say nice things instead of unwarranted shit. And it’s always nice knowing that there are people who care about me.

I also had a lot of fun this weekend unboxing and sorting several parcels that arrived from overseas! One of them was actually 7kg and contained the leatherbound classics that I ordered online ???

Barnes & Noble Leatherbound Classics

SO PRETTY RIGHT WTF and they all have gilt-edged pages of gold and silver. Honestly they are not very cheap and more than what I would usually pay for a book but considering they are all special editions and collections of multiple stories, it’s quite worth it.

Just looking at them on my shelf makes me so happy ? My mother came into my room, shook her head and said I need to see a shrink for book obsession.

Barnes & Noble Leatherbound Classics Book Depository

Oh and look, I am capable of upbeat posts ok.

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Posted in Photographs